The shinigami redivivus
by ShinichiKudoOwnsMySoul
Summary: I never expected myself to live again after being killed by a car. I awoke in another world, full of Gundams and as one of the Gundam boys, Duo Maxwell. Why am I Duo, of all people? And worst of all, why do I have to be a child soldier and fight a war and be the opposite gender? Someone up there hates me. Self-insert. OC reincarnation. Somewhat anti-hero OC, being rewritten.
1. Chapter 1 Reincarnated as Duo?

A/N: This is the brand-new revision of my story, The Shinigami Redivivus, I will be redoing chapters 2 and 3 as well. :D

I am grateful to all my loyal followers who have read and enjoyed this story. Anyway, welcome to my renovated story of my first OC reincarnation story.

Most OC stories go like this: said OC is reincarnated in fictional world, everyone instantly likes them, everything goes their way.

This story is not one of those. MY stories wil not be that way.

Warning; it is a girl reborn as a boy, therefore there will be some transgender and gender questioning themes, so if you don't like it, don't read. Also, war, psychological trauma and other warnings apply. This is Gundam Wing after all, a dark world.

* * *

Prologue; After Colony 195

_**Earth and Space just couldn't do it. They'd tried their best to negotiate with each other. People from the Colonies were growing impatient. What they wanted...was freedom above all else. Freedom to live as they pleased, freedom to do their own things.**_

_**This did not please Earth.**_

_**So Earth and Space started a tumultous war that would claim innumerable lives. All for the name of 'peace'.**_

_**Inevitably, this led to chaos and ruin. The once great countries of the world were now Colonies. OZ was now the way of the world, alongside Romefeller.**_

_**Still, there were others who fought against OZ's inhuman ways, but they were crushed, one by one, like bugs.**_

_**However, one day, "Operation Meteor" came to pass; one day, in five different places around the world, five different shooting stars came down from the sky. What only top secret officials knew-was that they all contained five specially trained child soldiers, piloting deadly weapons known as "Gundams", trained to save the world from itself.**_

_**They were the Gundam pilots.**_

_**Their names were-01, Heero Yuy, in the Wing Gundam, and later Wing Zero.**_

_**-03, Trowa Barton in the Heavyarms Gundam.**_

_**-04, Quatre Raberba Winner, in the Sandrock Gundam.**_

_**-05, Wufei Chang, in the Nataku Gundam.**_

_**And one other-**_

_**02-Duo Maxwell, the pilot of Gundam Deathscythe-and the 'hero' of this tale. Not quite a hero.**_

_**After all, in the world of war, there are no innocents.**_

Mission One: _Don't fear, the God of Death is here; oh, actually you should fear_!

I'm not a very patient person.

I sighed as I pushed strands of my brown hair back with my fingers.

"They really are takin' a long time to come out, aren't they?" I said, idly fingering the controls of the machine that I was in.

The machine made a noise, as though it were sentient.

A faint smile crossed my face. "Yeah, that's right, buddy. We'll be fightin' soon. You know, I never thought I'd enjoy this life outside of space."

The machine suddenly roared to life as a warning flashed across its sensors. 'ENEMY DETECTED,' it read.

"Looks like the lions and tigers have come out of their cages to play. I hope they're ready to take us on," I purred, pressing a control as the machine roared to life and stealthily crept up behind the prey.

"Halt! Identify yourself!"

Bah, so boring.

I whirled around to face them, as the cloaking device did its handiwork and a tall black and white monster towered above them, optics glowing bright green like a cat's eyes at night.

Instantly, a green beam of light formed in the machine's arms; a scythe of death, that Deathscythe-_my Deathscythe_-held in its hands.

"Oh, boy, don't you know what you've just done? You've broken the rule here!"

"IT'S A GUNDA-"

Was all they had to say before I slashed right through their cockpits at once, causing a loud explosion.

"That's right! Ya really should've run away. I hate killing such unnecessary fodder, such a waste of time," I grumbled under my breath. Well, that's what the Shingami gets, I suppose.

Suddenly, someone new was behind me. I couldn't catch up fast enough.

"Duo!" A new voice cried out.

Suddenly, a tall black-and-white Gundam appeared to aid me.

It was Sandrock.

A cheery blond waved out the window at me.

That's Quatre Winner, you can't mistake anyone else for him. He's the most innocent guy you could ever meet. Yeah, he's a Gundam pilot.

I'm a Gundam pilot, too.

If you're reading this, ya probably know we're all evil people.

That's a half-truth, or a lie.

They want you to believe that everything OZ says and does is okay, when it isn't.

Well, let me just begin by telling you about myself.

Yes, I'm Duo Maxwell; the God of Death.

Perhaps you've heard of me.

I pilot Deathscythe, bring death to others.

Ya see, it wasn't always that way.

As I sit there and talk to my friends and annoy the hell out of Hee-chan, let me tell you a secret; they say that the God of Death cannot die; if that's the case, then I'm a case of someone who came back from the dead as someone else entirely!

A long time ago, I didn't even live in this world, in the world of Gundam Wing.

That's right, how can I, a fictional character, be aware of my own existence?

Well, it's kinda cheating, but I existed in the real world, like you, a while ago, in my past life.

I came from that world; and yes, that Earth is not ravaged by war and Gundams.

I could never live without mobile suits, to be honest. I've grown too fond of them.

But back then, I had a family and friends before they were all stolen away from me-even a pet dog-I was stolen away from them in a flash.

And the irony is that back in that life, I had been a girl!

I know what yer all sayin'-Duo Maxwell's so girly, how could he possibly have been a girl?

Well, I was.

Let me tell you how my story became the way it is today.

No one will _ever read _this little diary of my recollections; I'm sure; Hee-chan thinks of me as a little out there, and I know Wufei will certainly think of this as another 'Crazy Maxwell thing,' as I am well known for, and Quatre will probably just laugh.

Trowa, well, he's probably too busy, engaged in his little lover meetings with Quatre. That's right, they're an official couple.

And as for me and Hee-chan, that's a secret for another day.

I've started thinking of myself more as a male, but that still doesn't make it awkward at times.

In my past life, my name was Alison.

That's all I remember; I had a mother, a father, and a sibling.

I don't really remember much else about it because my memories of that life are rapidly fading. As they should. I do miss that old life of mine.

But I've stopped thinking about it because this life has become something amazing for me, something I'll do anything for, anything to protect. Well, my attitude wasn't always that way when it began.

So _how_ exactly did an ordinary girl like me wind up becoming Duo Maxwell, of all people?

Well, it all began when I _died._

That's right.

When I had been Alison, I had been a fan of Gundam Wing, which caused the boys at school to tease me, saying that only boys should be into it. I liked anime.

My favorite character was Heero. I had a strong attachment to Duo.

I felt like I could always sympathize with the characters in Gundam Wing and the series gave me strange emotions that no other series did. I never tried to explain this to anyone because they would have found me crazy.

I lived a fractured life because my parents split up when I was little, so it was just me, my mother and my little sister.

I do think about her, but that's all in the past.

* * *

The funny thing is that, death can come claim you at any time. It's kinda scary, the way that death came to take me. How?

Well, for starters, I had just finished school.

My mom had picked me up from school, with my little sister in the back seat, getting my seat belt on.

I was discussing my day with my mother, my sister interrupting us. She's like Mariemaia, now that I think about it, minus the destructive tendencies.

I was just a brat then.

_"Alison, look at this manga picture I drew for you!" My little sister cried, holding out a badly sketched picture of Duo from Gundam Wing. "It's Duo!"_

_I looked at it and smiled. "Yes, I see. I like that character a lot."_

_My mom had worked a long time to protect us. She was very kind and caring. _

_Suddenly, a big black truck was headed for us. Mom screamed and tried to press on the brakes. _

_But all I remember is the sight of the truck, the headlights coming closer and closer to us, and then,I felt myself fall forwards and then blackness. _

_Then, I recall being attached to a hospital bed, having to say goodbye to my family as I died. _

_Damned car accident, stealing me away when I was only fifteen freaking years old. _

I can recall waking up as a baby, too and being puzzled.

* * *

_I could move again and see things. _

_My hands were tiny, I was an...infant? _

_A woman I'd never seen before was talking in a language I didn't know._

_It didn't take me long to figure out that I was reborn and as a baby. _

_What place we were in, I had no idea._

_It was an advanced society, too. _

_There were computers, and televisions. _

_Everything felt so off, though. I wasn't allowed to really play outside much and my new parents frequently shoved me aside in favor of doing experiments. These parents were shit at their jobs. _

_I really don't care much about that, though._

_I found it awfully odd. _

_I also found out that my gender had been changed, which came as quite a shock. _

_Can you imagine trying to go to the bathroom like you had as a girl, and then realize it hurts? You look down and discover that suddenly, I had a new body part that hadn't been there before. When I saw that I had a penis, I bit back a scream._

_It never occurred to me that when I'd be reborn, I'd be reborn as a boy. _

_Yes, now I was a male. _

_I'd never really been a tomboy or girly-girl. This whole thing was weird. _

_My parents always talked about things like OZ, mobile suits..._

_At an early age, I figured out that these parents were incompetent. _

_One day, however, my new parents proved just how low they were._

_One day, there were some explosions and the ground started shaking._

_Scared, I ran to my parents for help like the scared five year old I was, only to be pushed aside as they gathered their things and left. _

_They made the excuse that it was for my own good. _

_Obviously, they never came back. Douchebags._

_Either way, it was obvious I couldn't stay there anymore, so I ran away._

_I'd learned that the name of this place we were in was called L2. _

_There was stuff about space, it sounded familiar, I couldn't think of it. Maybe they were all Star Trek fans. _

_Eventually, I joined a gang of youths that stole things._

_The eldest was a boy named Solo and for some reason, he insisted on calling me Duo. _

_It wasn't like I could tell him that my name was Alison. _

_Alison is no name for a guy. _

_It wasn't until the day that I ran into my destiny head-on that I realized just who I was. _

_I'd tried to pickpocket someone, that someone being a nun. _

_She grabbed my little hand; I tried to run away, but her grip was fierce._

_"Let go of me!" I cried._

_"You're a fast one," she chuckled. "Are you an orphan with no home?"_

_What gave you an indication of that? _

_"You seem like a fiery one, boy," She said, patting my head, causing me to pout. _

_Physically seven or not, I refused to be treated as a child. _

_Unfortunately, the nun didn't see it that way, as she led me into an orphanage filled with lots of wailing children. Oh boy, children. _

_I hated children. This was not going to end well. _

_Hey, at least I didn't have to get periods anymore. _

_But on top of that, being a boy sucked. _

_"This is Father Maxwell," She said before pointing to the priest. "This is Duo here, little Duo would like to join our family."_

_"Pleasure to meet you, Duo," He said, shaking my hand. _

_Wait, Father Maxwell? _

_Maxwell Church?_

_My heart started pounding faster in my chest. _

_"Duo, your braid is rather undone, let me fix it."_

_As Sister Helen fixed my hair, I stared into a mirror and my suspicions were confirmed. _

_My hair was now longer, uh...dirtier, and dark brown in color. My eyes were now a bluish-violet. I was...Duo Maxwell? _

_If that was right, then this was...Gundam Wing? _

_My little fist hit the mirror as I let out a single curse word. _

_"FUCK!" _

_That earned me a spanking. _

_Someone up there hates me. _


	2. Chapter 2 Tragedy strikes

_A/N:Okay, here's the jig. I am rewriting a good deal of my stories, to make them more coherent and reasonable. First being that my ideas for my Black Cat, Gundam, PH and DRRR plunnies have returned, so expect __**more **__updates. My OC reincarnation fics are still a top priority; however my crossovers and other stuff is still going to be important as well. _

_I've found that certain elements in the second chapter seemed rushed; and I want to kind of...while not pander on too much in Duo's past, I want to focus on it; because otherwise, the Maxwell Tragedy just seems..__**.rushed, **__and like I wanted to get out of that and focus on the Duo we all love. But this isn't just the Duo we love; it's a different Duo with a different look at things. _

_The thing is, I stories are more difficult because with third person, you can throw anything at it and it will make sense. But doing it from first person makes it more gripping, but also more difficult. Anyhow, enough of the rambling, I'm just going to change certain aspects here._

**_A.C 188: A series of revolts take place across the colonies, all put down by the Alliance. On colony cluster L2-V08744, a church that took in orphans of the long war between space and the Alliance was taken over by rebels. The rebellion is unsuccessful and the church is destroyed by the Alliance, killing the rebels and all in the building. It is called the Maxwell Tragedy; named after the late Father Maxwell. 245 souls died that day. It is believed that no one survived the disaster. It was a mere tragedy of war; the inevitable war that was going to happen would claim many more lives._**

**_However, there was a survivor; someone who possessed knowledge of the timeline ahead. But fate can easily change-even if you do not possess ill will, fate can easily change with just the slightest alteration in the world itself._**

Mission 002: Code Name: Shinigami and the Maxwell Church

Some things in life are going to be absurd, to be absolutely, unbelievably impossible. You can't deny that when you go through life; especially when it comes to the rules of life. You're convinced that there are certain rules that life has and that nothing could _ever_ change it.

That's where I was wrong. The evidence was right there in front of my eyes; as I took in the truth about where I really was; the signs were always there, reminding me; now there was nowhere to run to. The cold glass of the mirror showed me I could not run from reality, no longer.

As I extended my tiny hands out to touch the glass, my counterpart on the other side also extended out his own.

I had known full well that something about me had been changed; that my biological sex had been reversed in this new world; that I was now male. That had been a shocking revelation to take in. But how often was it that you saw yourself with this reflection?

The reflection before me showed a young boy with long brown hair that had been braided back; and-the thing that stood out most to me-his eyes-were indigo, a mix between blue and purple. You don't see that eye color every day, outside of...anime.

So I decided to list the things I already knew; in my mind. I was a child again. A boy, to be more precise.

But what concerned me more was that I looked like Duo Maxwell, a character in Gundam Wing-a show I had perceived fictional. So, that means...that I was in a fictional world? The world of _Gundam Wing? _

Someone kill me.

Why _this_ universe, of all places? This world is _absolute hell. _Then again, that explained the mobile suits, my shitty parents running around and leaving their dau-er, (son now) to fend for himself. I supposed that since I was a boy now, I might as well get used to male pronouns, though it still felt weird and very odd to get accustomed to.

But why had I been chosen to become Duo, of all people?

I barely had any more time to whine over the unfortunate life of becoming a future child soldier or tool because I was immediately shoved off the bed I was sitting on and onto the floor. Being seven again means your reflexes are shit; the ground had not seemed that far away before. I landed on the ground, instantly glaring up at the other child who had done such a terrible thing (and giving in to my childish mind).

"What do ya think yer doing? That's my bed, dammit!"

The other boy gasped, as though I had uttered an offense. "S-Sister said we're not to curse! It's p-pro-fantasy or something!"

"Profanity," I said clearly, "Don't ya know how to speak?"

That started a fist fight. Boys are notorious for fighting.

The other kid started pulling at my braid.

"Hey, Duo, what's with your braid? You look like a girl!" He taunted.

"Stop it," I said in annoyance. I hit him back.

I wound up getting disciplined quite often for getting into fights.

When they say nuns are strict, they're not kidding. Nothing like good old fashioned child abuse.

But this world ain't fair, it's very cruel and heartbreaking at times.

Even though I was a teenage girl mentally, I was still a seven year old boy physically and needed to learn everything over again. How to survive in this world. How to be me.

If there's one thing I didn't like about being a child again, it's the loss of balance and how awkward it is to have your muscles developing again; and being so damned short stinks. When you're used to being able to reach things and do things yourself, having to have adults pick up that thing you needed for you gets irksome.

Religious education was...fun, I guess?

In many ways, I was a miscreant. Mainly because of several things.

* * *

I was_ not happy_ about being reborn.

I was not happy about being reborn as a child and having to go through puberty all over again.

I was pissed off about having to be a boy instead of being a girl because I knew nothing about how the society of boys worked, or how they interacted with one another.

I was not pleased at being reborn in the cruel world of Gundam Wing.

And most of all, I did not like the idea of being Duo _fucking _Maxwell, of all people.

So of course, the poor nuns had to deal with brattish antics from a disgruntled teen trapped in a kid's body resorting to impish things. Of course, I did these things with the boys. What else could we do? We were all miserable orphans living in a war-torn world.

The nuns tried to shield us from the outside world, but I was aware of what was to come.

How could I not be? I would lie awake at night, looking out the window, knowing that one day, all my classmates...all of them would be dead. Except for me. Sometimes, my thoughts would drift over to the other Gundam boys; Trowa, Wufei, Quatre and Heero, what were their lives like?

Could I meet them now and change fate?

No, I decided.

I could not change it; maybe we Gundam boys would be enemies, or friends.

All I knew was that-eventually, these people would all be dead.

The next day, I decided to start playing pranks.

As the nun turned the pages of her book and sat down in her chair, a farting noise could be heard.

The boys, including my friends and I, started giggling among ourselves, pleased at our successful prank.

"Who put this whoopee cushion on my seat?" Sister Helen asked; her gaze went to me and my friends, who paled.

"Oh shit, Duo, we're caught!" My friend whispered to me.

Uh...I was frequently sent in for corporal punishment. Known as the prankster extreme, pretty much.

"Duo, you simply must learn discipline!" The teacher scolded.

"I like doing what I want, and I'm the Shinigami!" I said, folding my arms back in my chair as a response.

"Duo, we don't talk about Death."

'But we live in a shitty world!' I wanted to argue back, but refrained.

Yeah, why couldn't I have been reborn in something like Sailor Moon?

Anyway, I dealt with it the best that I could.

I'd gotten to know some of the orphans, and they were nice. But Sister Helen seemed to take a special liking to me. Honestly, the time she would spend with me, talking to me, reading me stories, was reminiscent of my old mother; and how supportive she'd been after my father had left us.

Anytime soon, they would die. And I wanted to protect them.

There were numerous times that they tried to adopt me out to different people. Joy. After seeing how bad my parents were, I doubted adopted parents could be any better. And I didn't want to screw over this destiny even more than I already had.

"Come on, Duo! These people really care about you." Sister Helen urged me.

Sure they did.

I saw the evil looks on their faces the second they came in.

Once they got me to their house, they revealed their true intentions.

"Okay, kid, we're gonna send you out to space and you'll become an expendable tool."

Instantly, I kicked the guy in the groin and ran.

Duo Maxwell's destiny wasn't to become Oz's child slave.

As much as I hated the idea of being a Gundam pilot, it was admittedly much better than being one of OZ's puppets.

When I returned to the church, Sister Helen was happy that I was alive.

In this world, where I had a little piece of happiness, I was satisfied.

I really was.

Why did it all have to fall apart?

* * *

I learned that being a boy was a lot harder than being a girl.

When you are feminine as a boy, you get ridiculed.

That was why very feminine boys like Quatre would not have done well in my old world.

And boys like hitting you and beating you up.

So I wound up beating them up.

Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

A year passed by before I knew it.

"All right, children, we're going to have a lesson today where we learn about the way God heals!"

Suddenly, the sounds of gunfire outside the church could be heard.

Some of the kids started crying.

"What's going on?" I cried, clinging to Sister Helen, who looked to the door, nervously.

She had us duck under the tables and held us.

Oh no; it was the rebels. They were here.

Why now?

I was afraid, I was shaking. _This was real._

The doors burst open as a group of men came in, wielding real live ammunition, pointing it at all of us.

Everyone was going to die, unless I did something.

This was all just a script, my mind was telling me.

No, everything I'd been through up to this point...why had I denied it?

"Stop your crying, you little brats!" They sneered at my friends, "Or else we'll blow this place up and kill everyone in it!"

I flinched and punched the ground with my fists, struggling to get at them, but Sister Helen pulled me back.

"_Let me at them_-"

"Quiet, Duo!" She said sharply.

I was so angry I could hardly think straight.

One nun who had tried to approach them to demand they leave had gotten shot right in the head. She fell over, dead, red seeping from her body.

Children started screaming, of course.

And they started shooting.

Three of my classmates fell, dead.

The rest of them kept their mouths shut. I was shaking in fear.

"Tell us where the Alliance is, bitch, maybe we'll have some fun with you." They said to Sister Helen. "The Reverend here must know what's going on."

"Please, leave them be! They're only children-"

She was smacked across the face by the soldier.

"Hey, sister, ready to sin a little?" They started kicking her and trying to beat her up.

Instantly, I charged up toward them and tried to hit them, only to be sent flying; blood trickled down my face. Damn, did it hurt.

"Looks like this little brat's trying to play hero, eh?" They chuckled, standing over me, sneering.

"Leave Sister Helen alone!" I cried, trying to sound much braver than I actually felt.

I realized I had the barrel of a gun pointed straight at my face.

"Duo, no!" She cried.

I swallowed.

"Hey, kid, go get us a mobile suit, and then we'll spare everyone."

Why was I so naive?

Reluctantly, I obeyed, taking one last glance at the Sister before I charged out the door.

I managed to find a mobile suit and hijack it.

"Everyone should be safe," I said to myself.

When I jumped out, nothing but black smoke met my vision.

I covered my face with my hands and staggered.

The church; there was nothing left of it, just smoking wreckage.

The rebels were dead.

"Did you see the look on those rebels' faces? They'll know better than to rebel against us again."

Voices. Soldiers!

Instinctively, I hid.

"Yes, but did we have to kill those children?"

"Quiet! You know well that we have to obey orders. That little bitch was begging up to the end to save those kids. They're expendable for a new world."

As the soldiers left, I got back up and walked over the wreckage.

The only home I'd known for a year was gone.

There were...charred bodies.

Someone's hand was sticking out from under the rubble. I moved it aside.

It was a young boy; I had known him. He was one of my friends.

And now he was nothing but a pile of burnt ash.

I stared at his corpse, then threw up on the ground, unable to believe what I was seeing.

Everywhere, I saw the awful looks on my classmates' faces; eyes wide open in terror.

"How could they?" I moaned, falling to my knees, for once feeling like the helpless child that I was physically and mentally.

Then I felt it.

Someone moved.

Oh, thank god. Someone was _alive. _

"Duo, you're still alive, thank goodness."

"Sister Helen?" I muttered, tearfully.

"You need not cry. We were victims of war. The Father tried his hardest. I managed to hold out until you came, thank goodness. God bless you child, you tried your best to protect us."

"But I failed, and the Shinigami took you away from me!"

She smiled and then her eyes closed, she wouldn't move. She was dead, too.

I sobbed bitterly.

Then I pulled myself back up to my feet and walked away, my legs feeling like glue.

I had no connections to anything anymore.

So from that day on, I became a nobody.

I became a runaway.

Something inside me hardened that day.

I didn't really feel like the girl I used to be, but nor did I feel like Duo Maxwell, either. I _literally_ felt like I was a walking personification of death. Suddenly, it was easy to understand why he had become the way he was.

By the time I was nine or ten, I was already an expert at stealing shit, getting away and stealing food. I'd hurt people before, broken their necks before.

My innocence...ha, such a thing was already gone.

I'll never forget the day I met Doctor G. I didn't realize I'd stolen from him, of all people.

"Your security system sucks," I said, acting every bit like the brat I was.

Here it came, the time of judgment was here.

"Who might you be, boy?" He said, looking me up and down.

"I'm Duo Maxwell! But you can call me the God of Death!"

There was no turning back. Not anymore.

I'm not going to run away anymore.

_Not ever again._


	3. Chapter 3 Training begins

A/N:Time for the next chapter~she's going to undergo a lot of rough things before she will become truly strong, but she will prevail. Our OC is _not _the type to give up easily. I'm glad you haven't passed this story by with the expression of 'OH, IT'S AN OC, AVOID IT LIKE THE WIND!'. And don't worry, Alison/Duo will not have an easy life. He/she will learn the _hard way_. And maybe a look at some of the Gundam Boys' lives before they meet each other. If there's something I get wrong, feel free to tell me. Enjoy the story, and flamers can go leave this page.

Edited for accuracy and consistency on 7/15/16.

"I could well imagine that I might have lived in former centuries and there encountered questions in was not yet able to answer; that I had to be born again because I had not fulfilled the task that was given to me."

\- Carl Jung,

Mission 003: The Shinigami rises

* * *

_AC 192: The giant spaceship Peacemillion was completed and hidden on the moon by the creator of the Wing Zero, Professor G. However, in his efforts to do so, he has been followed by a young stowaway. Professor G sees potential in this young sneak and decides to allow the boy to stay with him and he begins to train him. The name of this youth was one Duo Maxwell, now twelve years old and a hardened thief, having grown used to the cruelties of this world, now tucking his past life away from him. But old memories seldom fade and bad habits die hard.*_

**"The last thing that many of the OZ soldiers saw coming was the "curved blade" of the Deathscythe, and that's how they knew that their doom was near, that the Shinigami was raining death upon them."-Duo Maxwell, After Colony 196, describing how he fought for the space colonies and earth to his friend, multi-millionaire Quatre Raberba Winner.**

**Mission 003: The rise of Shinigami**

Oh man, here came the moment I was waiting for.

It was the very freaking moment I had been living all of these twelve years of hellish existence for. This was the day where all of my fun would end and three, long years of torture would begin.

Okay, I'm being melodramatic. I need to stop that.

Really, I know the position I'm in, I oughta just shut up and do what I need to do.

Problem is, I just don't know when to listen to the rules. Perhaps that's a benefit as a Gundam pilot? I'm not quite sure, but I guess I've changed drastically from how I had been in my other life. In my other life, I was a quiet girl who barely talked, but I had a snarky tongue that got me in trouble and landed me in the principal's office often.

I had been unable to stand being insulted by the class bully, so I'd decided it would be okay to punch the snot out of the bastard. Guess whose parents were disappointed with her (him now?) when she turned up covered in bruises, but smiling.

Thank goodness that the snarkiness is a part of Duo's character. I can get away with it.

What if I'd been Heero? I cannot imagine Heero cracking jokes, it would be the end of mankind, earth, and space. I'd be screwed. Anyway, I knew I'd consigned my fate to being a Gundam pilot the second I'd been born as Duo freaking Maxwell, I just had to buckle down and do it.

Doctor G seemed like a pretty cool dude, aside from the whole grooming me to be a child soldier who would be willing to throw away his life to protect space. Apparently, that's a thing in Gundam. I'd noticed it while watching both Seed and Wing, for some reason, people in the Gundamverse are inclined to throw cheesy speeches in people's faces for little to no reason at all.

One of the coolest things about being in this universe, though, is how advanced everyone is. Even if there's a war going on like Star Wars, the very idea of being out in outer space and living out here is enough to make my heart start thumping in my chest. I love the view of outer space when I look out my window on the ship.

I mean, back in my other world, space was something you only saw at night, looking out your window, like a distant country, you could only watch the astronauts go up in rockets while feeling endless envy and dream of space travel, see those NASA astronauts in their odd white costumes that seemed comical, compared to this universe where humans didn't need that stuff.

It was odd, being in a universe where space was an ever-constant presence. Suddenly, I understood Quatre's mumbo-jumbo about the heart of space. Good lord, what if Quatre's a Jedi and he's mastered the Force? I flinched and then chuckled under my breath. No one is going to get that joke here.

A universe without Star Wars...? That's sad.

But hey, we can't get everything we want. Reincarnation doesn't play fair.

* * *

The Professor noticed me watching the scenery outside, evidently by how he was suddenly near me. It was as though he'd flash-stepped. "Space is beautiful, isn't it?" He said.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, it sure is. Hard to believe we've progressed _this_ far."

He laughed. "My ancestors used to laugh about the idea of going into outer space and living here. We proved them wrong even while we were laughed at. Humanity has accomplished much, but at the same time, we're still the same, corruptible fools we were hundreds of years ago."

Oh man, what had I done? I swallowed, preparing myself for the incoming philosophical rambling. Since this was Gundam, the old man was going to launch into another preachy speech about the importance of protecting the universe. I was right.

He went on for a good hour, discussing this world's history and how important space was to our mission. I pretended to be listening for a good deal of it until he noticed my eyes were straying from his and immediately scolded me.

"Well, your training shall begin tomorrow. I shall be teaching you how to wield weapons and the basics of being a soldier. By the time I am through with you, you will be a proper soldier. And eventually, you'll get to test my special project."

I knew what he meant. Special project meant the Gundam. My heart leapt in my throat. For some reason, I was practically itching to leap in one of those machines. I don't know if it was because of the male hormones in me now or because boys are so enthusiastic about electronics, but a part of me wanted to fucking fly in those things now.

My childhood dream in my other life was to get in a Gundam. But the harsher side of my brain reminded me of the real shit I'd be doing: destroying innocent soldiers who are doing their jobs, depriving children of their fathers, killing innocent people and getting my hands stained in blood.

'I know that. I've survived twelve years of this life, I can definitely survive thirty more years.' Though that was probably me being naive.

It's not like there are too many risks involved. I could survive, get captured, tortured for information, brainwashed into being a soldier for OZ, get sold into slavery, killed, left out to die in space...wait, what was the last part he just said?

"I will also be teaching you how to fight in space. I will teach you how to hack through security systems, how to breach security, how to control explosives, how to fire guns. Are you ready to take on those challenges?" He said, looking at me sharply.

'Hold on, hold on, hold on!' I said mentally, 'I'm only a twelve-year old kid, you can't just order me to do all this stuff and accept it-'

But I sucked it up. I _had _to face the consequences. I had to face reality. That was what I'd sworn to myself on the day I'd seen Sister Helen and all the others die; that I would stop pretending this was all just some work of fiction. I would stop pretending it was a work of fiction. I couldn't run away anymore.

"Sure thing, I'm prepared to do it anytime!" I said.

But inside, I was wondering if I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. For starters, you wanna know what the Doctor's idea of a good time was? Having me do like 20 or 30 situps. And he had me do the same things over and over, until my muscles hurt. It was times like this I was glad I had a male body and not a female body. And he had me do many other rigorous exercises, until I could master them all.

But hey, the part about shooting guns was actually pretty cool. But if my old parents were around, they'd probably have a heart attack upon seeing me using weapons.

It was at times like this, while I was suffering through grueling training, that I wondered whether any of the other Gundam boys were going through this. And my mind kept on traveling back to Heero for some strange reason.

Yes, Heero had been the boy I'd had a crush on as a girl.

That sounds kinda strange to say now, though.

'But wait...now I'm a guy,' I thought, 'So, if I'm a guy now and I had a crush on Heero when I was a girl, does that make me...gay? Tch, yeah right, Duo! That's all over and done with...'

I shook them off. Right, right, focus on protecting the colonies, that's all that mattered!

* * *

This old dude seemed very obsessed with the colonies, in fact almost all the time he spoke about this stuff. It was like being in a cult, it was majorly creepy. But hey, at least I wasn't sleeping on the streets, and I knew well this would help save the universe, and I had to accept whatever was dealt to me.

No matter how harsh the training was, no matter how many nights I felt like crying, I had to keep on going.

Also, one day the doctor told me stuff that really surprised me. I was just training like usual, when I was interrupted by some surprising news.

"Duo, I did a bit of intel on your past." He said, staring into my violet eyes. I looked straight back, unfazed. I was annoyed at being interrupted, but man, I had not expected this.

"About your biological parents...it seems from the records I have on hand, that they were either killed by OZ or they have disappeared. There is little data left on them, but from what I found, they were experimenting on things that OZ did not approve of and they were killed."

I nodded my head, my ponytail swaying a little.

I didn't really care all that much. They had never been considered my real parents, anyway.

"Karma caught up with them." I said with a small smile on my face.

Besides, from the time I was born, I had already noticed that my parents wanted nothing to do with me and snuck around and did stuff. And oh man, the irony of this. It was too much to take! I could recall one time where my new father had taken me out back and lashed me because I'd looked into one of his secret files and scattered it everywhere. Thank goodness they'd left this world sooner than expected, because otherwise I wouldn't be standing here.

I watched the professor's eyes for a few moments. He looked surprised and a bit saddened. Was he expecting something more out of me? A different reaction? Dude, these parents were shit parents. Like_ hell_ I'd miss them.

Was he really expecting me to become angry over this and swear vengeance on the organization that killed my parents? Who did he think I was, Batman? No way.

"The shinigami just got 'em, that's all," I said casually.

"Yes, that's what you shall be. You shall be a shinigami to Oz. You shall strike them down before they can even see what's coming."

Sometimes, Doctor G really creeped me out, and it was too bad I didn't have anyone to talk to about him. I just had to repress all of my feelings inside.

You know, when I began all of this, I was really determined that I wouldn't hurt anyone. But, people change over the years, and being raised in a war-torn world alters you. You could clearly say that by the time I was twelve or thirteen, I'd clearly accepted that death was a part of life, and that I had to give out death as much as death was slammed onto me.

That was the way of this world and nothing I said would change it, so I just had to deal with it.

"You've got very good endurance and speed." He said one day, while evaluating me.

Well, I'd always been good at stealing things in order to stay alive. Survival makes you do crazy things, and staying alive was one of them, to the point where I'd even do illicit things that in another life I would have said no to.

"A decent amount of cunning, and good proficiency with sneaking into buildings. You've got a lot of grey matter up there, Duo, and you're utilizing it well during our training. However, there is one thing that bothers me. Something you need to resolve."

"What's that?" I said absently, giving him the usual tone of a thirteen-year-old kid.

"You do not appear to have it in you to kill. And that won't do for a soldier. The world isn't as kind as you believe it to be, Duo." He reprimanded. His words stung. I knew he was right.

Of course, because wasn't it just fine and dandy to go around shooting people like there was no tomorrow? I would be nothing but a so-called hero or terrorist. I couldn't stand having to break the law. Yet it had become second nature. But killing? I refused to do it. Even during training when I beat the dummies and models, I could never pull the trigger and shoot them in the head.

"OZ will kill you before you have a chance to react. Do you really want all those colonies to be destroyed down there? In war, the enemy will not listen to reason or rationality."

I shook my head. Definitely not, because all those people down there were innocents who had no idea what they were getting into.

"Think of those who died protecting you, Duo. Think of all the hatred and anger you felt back then allow yourself to build upon it. This will take some time, but eventually the gun will become a second friend to you. This ability comes when you need to win, not when you desire it."

I swallowed, and closed my eyes.

_Sister Helen, lying dead and bloodied on the ground. _

_The dead orphans, victims of a tragic massacre caused by careless idiots involved in a war. _

_The soldiers, laughing as they shot at my classmates and friends, shooting every which way._

_The Father, caring until the end, giving his all for us no good orphans. _

_They all died because I wasn't strong enough. _

_If I can do this, then I can protect myself. _

I allowed myself to focus on these thoughts, trying hard to wield them, to shape them into something tangible. I held the cold metal of the gun in my hands, and then I pulled the trigger, which went off with a resounding bang.

The shot landed about a third off from the appropriate position on the target.

"You're getting better at this," He said, which I suppose was his way of a compliment, "Now practice this for the next three hours."

'What?' So I pulled the trigger until my arms were sore. Let's just say my fingers were numb for another three hours until I got them to work again. Yeah, life as Duo Maxwell the shinigami was great, sarcastic. But I guess I got used to it.

It was at times like this that I wondered how I had even liked Heero to begin with. The guy was a jerk. Wait a second, had I made an enemy of Heero? That was not a good thing, but at the same time, I couldn't help but be amused, thinking of how he might react the next time we met. Was he going to glare at me or try to kill me? For some reason, the thought made me excited, which scared me.

It was obvious. My personality was changing-and that was a terrifying feeling.

"You have improved indeed, Duo," He said, "Your shots are more on target. You have done very well. I'm proud of you."

* * *

Overall, training sucked, but I was getting used to it. I mean, it's been nearly a year since I started doing it. However, he told me that soon he's going to have me test out the mobile suit. I can't help but feel excited upon hearing those words. Finally, I was going to try it. Finally. I couldn't believe it. I could do this, I knew I could.

Just you wait, fate, because I was determined to not give up. Maybe it was, like I said before, the result of being in a boy's body, but I was going to be a Gundam pilot. I was going to survive and make the best of my new life. And in the end, perhaps I do have the fire of a Gundam boy burning in me.

It's a strange feeling, but it's energizing, and in the end, you want more of it. You just can't stop.

At first, I didn't understand why I had been brought here. Why I had been turned into Duo Maxwell and put into this cruel world. But finally, I understood. It was...it was because I hadn't understood the worth of life.

Even when I had been alive as a girl, I kinda treated life like it was nothing but a joke.

Funny how a few shots and burning bodies are enough to change that permanently.

Now I could. Now I understood exactly what I had to do. Survival came firsthand. For me, anyway. And I'd be trying out the Gundam in a few weeks.

That night, as I lay on my bed, I thought about all the changes my body was going through. Puberty was doing its thing, I was getting taller.

Definitely male puberty was different than female puberty was, and I was getting quite a lot of muscle on me. It was strange to say this, but I was kinda starting to forget what it was like being a girl, after so many years of being a guy, you just kinda forget.

I wondered again, what the other pilots were doing. Probably they thought the same things as me, they thought they were the only Gundam pilots around. Living that kind of life was insane. Hell, but I was insane the moment I stepped in this world. I just had to take the role that had been given to me and go with it.

Those were the last thoughts I had before I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4 The unreachable bridge of past

**A/N:I think this chapter will focus on some of the other wing boys, like Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, and Heero, before it goes back to Duo/Alison. And also, I think I'm going to write some of her past life memories in here as well, because her past matters as much as her new life does. I still need to research more of the military training; (Full Metal Jacket does not count as real proof of military exercises and stuff) I think I might watch a documentary or something to get a better idea of what training the Wing boys have to undergo. This chapter will be a bit longer than usual, and some canon things might be changed. I hope you enjoy it and please...**_**REVIEW. **_

**""We are forlorn like children, and experienced like old men, we are crude and sorrowful and superficial—I believe we are lost."**

― **Erich Maria Remarque, All Quiet on the Western Front a classic book that all people should read., from (check them out, they have great quotes on things)**

* * *

**Chapter Four The unreachable bridge of the past**

That night, I had a few haunting dreams that I cannot forget about easily, even if I wanted to. I dreamed, first, that I was in my old house, and I could see my parents fighting; and I could see a younger version of my old self, watching from the bedroom window, her hands behind her back, wondering what she'd done wrong to deserve these kinds of parents.

I could hear their arguing voices even now. I briefly wondered why on earth I wasn't my old self in this dream, but gave up trying to ruminate on that, because dreams are quite odd and strange things that sometimes even science can't explain. (I wonder what Doctor G's reaction would be if he heard me say that.)

"Why don't you look after Alison? You hardly, if ever see her! Why don't you act like a decent father and show up _once_ in a while, instead of cheating on me with that girlfriend of yours?"

"Honey, I'm not cheating on you with anyone! Besides, she's only eight years old, it's not like it really matters to her!"

"I can't believe you'd act like this! I honestly can't believe you'd act like such an immature jerk. This is our daughter you're talking about! Her future development could be affected by this! You know, she could even wind up having some serious mental problems because of this! Don't you care?" My mother sounds like she always did, harsh yet caring. She truly did love me, I know this, but still, arguing where a child can hear is not always the best thing to do.

"Actually, sometimes I don't even think that daughter of ours is even human."

"Of course she is, you're just being a jackass like usual!" And so it continues.

It was then that I saw that my old self had moved from her position at the bedroom window and was instead seated on the bed, crying hysterically. It was then that I started remembering what my old life had been like. I felt a glimmer of sadness go through me; I reached out with trembling fingers, trying to touch my old self, but I went right through her as she lay there, sobbing.

I was just _watching _over the old events of my past life, like a stranger watching scenes from an old movie play out before their eyes. It was eye-opening to me, to realize that my past was fading away; it was going away. True, it was still an important part of who I was, but I was starting to think of myself more and more as Duo Maxwell now, and less as Alison. When I tried, I barely even remembered what colors I liked, what books I liked, what my favorite kind of food was, what my best friends' names were.

I couldn't remember any of it. It all felt like it happened to some stranger, it was fading away really fast and that bothered me. It really did.

"Dammit, is this really what's happening to me?" I mumbled.

It was then that I saw another memory; my eight-year old self crying whenever my father walked out the door and never came back. If I thought hard, I could recall all the nights I spent at home alone, crying, begging for my father to come back home, but he never did. And you know, it was probably why, in this new life as a boy, that I wasn't troubled or bothered that my parents walked out on me-I was used to it.

Was it odd that I suddenly felt the urge to cry, that I suddenly felt like I should be sad that my old life was playing itself out before my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it? But for some reason, my eyes were dry; there were no tears produced. They were like phantoms of the past, nagging me about something I could never reclaim.

No matter how often I wished to myself that I could escape and just be an ordinary girl, it never came back, and that struck me. I had everything I could ever want back then. I had a loving mother and relatives, I'd had a home to return to, I didn't have to spend all my time killing people and fight; I didn't have to do things that soldiers would do.

My dreams ended there, and then they cut to the next memory I had, one from this life.

_I glared at my reflection in the mirror. "Why am I Duo, of all people?" I moaned. I waved my hands in front of the mirror and made faces, trying to figure out whether or not this was a dream. It was bad enough that I was a little kid, but why did I have to be Duo, of all things? _

_Each time, of course, my reflection would imitate me. IT was obvious that this was no dream, but sadly, reality. _

_Suddenly, I had a mental image of Quatre. What was it called again, the thing that he used to read the mind of space? The heart of space, or something...I tried to think back on the TV show and found that I couldn't really remember it. Well, I guess that means everything will come as a surprise to me. _

I awoke early the next morning to the professor waking me up early. His way of waking me up was seeing if I could jump out of bed fast enough in case something were to happen. Yeah, nice guy. Well, I'd gotten used to this sort of treatment early on, so it wasn't like I was surprised at this point.

By now I'd grown used to this sort of treatment from him, so I proved myself by jumping off the bed and landing on my feet.

"Very good reflexes, Duo. I'm very confident that you will be able to wield my new project. It's called a Gundam."

"A Gundam?" I said, feigning ignorance.

"It's made out of Gundanium alloy. It'll be just right for you."

'Of course it would be,' I thought. 'This _has_ to be my destiny. I'm supposed to be a Gundam pilot.'

After that, he had me fire a few rounds with a gun. Apparently, my aim wasn't perfect, but it was improving considerably. It was one thing reacting to things on television, but it was another thing entirely to be living them out. As I thought back over this stuff, my mind couldn't help but go back again to the other Wing boys. What were their lives like right now, I thought, as I was practicing my training?

Was their life full of as much chaos as my own, or were they making it out just fine? Were they questioning their own sanity like I was?

I decided to broach the question to the professor one day, see if I could change things up a little for the Gundam boys. It was kinda sneaky of me, but I was curious all the same.

"Hey, old man," I said lazily.

"Yes, Duo, what is it?" He said, not looking up from his work. Typical.

"Are there others like me? What I'm trying to say is, are there other Gundam boys like me, trainin' and stuff?"

A look darted across his face for a moment. "Yes, there are. Maybe you'll meet them sometime."

"What are their names?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll meet them in the future."

That was his way of saying, 'I'll never tell you unless I die.' I resisted the urge to smack him and just cursed mentally. So much for my trying to change destiny, it looks like I couldn't. I was just resigned to trying as hard as I could to just work with what I had. He was also teaching me how to survive out in space.

And it was true, but it was also scary to envision myself doing things that adults should be doing. I mean, seriously, sending five boys out in meteors down on the earth to accomplish something that should really be resolved by adults? The whole thing just screamed irresponsible.

But I don't think the old man would believe me if I were to tell him that I'd seen this life play itself out before in a TV show. He wouldn't believe me. However, he did make a few disparaging remarks about my hair before, which kinda ticked me off.

"Hey, Duo, shouldn't you cut your hair?"

"Never, my hair is like a part of me!" I cried. In truth, I just wanted to keep a link to the time when I was a girl. I didn't want to lose those feelings, those memories. I wanted to use them to make myself stronger, but at the same time, was I holding myself back? At times like this, I'd ask myself these questions when I was lying in bed. I thought of easier times, but then forcefully reminded myself that nothing in this world, in this universe was easy.

But you know, maybe I was being too naive. At that time, I was a thirteen-year old boy; I'd pretty much grown used to the whole being a boy thing; my thoughts drifted over to the girl that Duo met and fell in love with, Hilde. Would I be attracted to her? Would _I? _A part of myself still thought of me as female. It was kinda awkward.

'I wonder what Relena will be like,' I thought. From what I remembered, she had a _huge _Heero complex. Ha? Get it, I made a joke. _Heeeeroooo _complex. Yeah, Heero and I were gonna get along so well, weren't we? Given that I kinda made him _hate _me in the past, I wondered how exactly things were gonna play out.

For some reason, I felt a strange dread that I couldn't exactly explain.

"Are you eager to test out the Gundam?" He asked, "It is my prized invention."

I nodded my head eagerly. Actually, yes, I was eager to try it out. Just to see why on earth people got so excited over it, because you know, barely anyone in this series knew what the fuck a Gundam was besides the Gundam boys and the scientists.

I could feel my heart skipping in joy. And I was really excited. Apparently, he was eager to show me this device as soon as possible, too. And also, I was to go on another mission soon. Apparently, I was going to kill some soldiers doing their jobs.

'But this is war,' Part of my mind reminded me, 'And in this life, you're fighting for a better tomorrow, or something.'

"But then that sounds like something Heero would say," I mumbled. Ooh, creepy. I was sounding like Heero now. Not good.

I had changed so much that I would now do things that my parents would scream bloody murder at. But times had changed. I wasn't Alison anymore, I was Duo Maxwell, it was time for me to stop whining and just buckle down and do my job.

Still, a part of me wondered whether I'd have been better off if I'd wound up in Sailor Moon.

At first, the missions the old man sent me on were pretty simple, like steal stuff and bring it back, etc, etc. But eventually it got more and more complex, until the very _first _time I'd shot someone to death. Sure, I'd gotten into scuffles with people on the street, and I'd seen people die before my eyes, but never had I really pulled the trigger and killed someone.

I still remember the situation, too. I think the person was just nuts and snapped after an agreement was reached, and he called me a brat and was trying to beat me up, which I dodged. I kept on trying to tell them to knock it off, but it was obvious to me by then that they were beyond redemption.

"You damned kid, I'm gonna kill you!" He cried as he spat in my face, kicking me and the like.

Cursing, I fought back, but of course, since I was still a kid, he had the upper advantage physically. 'No, I don't want to die at age 13, not two years before I died in my past life!'

'I want to live,' Came the sudden thought erupting through my body. 'I want to live.' A strange feeling overtook me then. My hand reached out for the gun I had, and instinctively, I grabbed it and forced myself to my feet.

"Hey, calm down," I said, my voice shaking. I was obviously afraid, yet I tried not to show it. "We can talk this over, or we can get dirty..."

"Hand me the stuff, you stupid kid, or else I'll kill ya!" He was obviously insane.

My fingers shook as I held the gun. Shooting a target in practice was one thing, but shooting another person was a whole new ballfield. He stepped towards me, and lunged at me. He was aiming to kill. I had no choice. I took a deep breath and wrapped my fingers around the trigger, and then a gunshot rang out.

I found myself staring at the limp corpse of the man as blood trailed out from under him.

"Did I...do this?" I muttered, feeling my hands shake. "Well, he was trying to kill me..." I rationalized, "So he did deserve this, right? And I am the God of Death now."

But by now, I supposed I was used to telling myself that people would die, but this was the first time that blood was on my hands. Blood of someone whose life I had taken. And of course the professor acted like nothing was wrong.

"Well, how was that?" He asked me.

"It had to be done. He was working with the enemy and he had to die," I stated bluntly, which was the correct thing to say. And actually I felt a small bit of satisfaction rise up in me. He had been killed by a kid, the very same kid he'd tried to kill. I felt a laugh bubble up in me, but I held it back. I didn't cry, instead I felt absolutely nothing for this man's death. A small part of me was satisfied that he'd died, because he was trying to get in the way of protecting space.

But I couldn't shake off the feelings of disgust I held with myself. Even if he was trying to kill me, what made me have the right to take someone's life? I was just as bad as OZ.

"Duo, bury your feelings." He ordered. And reluctantly, I did so, and before I knew it, I found myself going on mission after mission, hunting person after person, until eventually the soldiers didn't matter. They were just statistics to the world, they were faceless mooks that got what they deserved. And sometimes, I even felt proud of myself. When you grow up with death all the time, it's hard not to think of him as a companion.

"You're getting very good at this, Duo," He said to me.

I smirked. By now, I'd gotten used to the idea of being a child soldier. But no matter how many times a disgruntled teenage girl was going to complain about her life, it was not going to change. So the least I could do was sit back and let fate do its work. I'd already been kidnapped, traumatized, nearly tortured, forced to kill a dozen times, so what else could be worse?

Actually, being a boy wasn't so bad once I got used to it.

"Now, allow me to show you the Gundam," He said to me, a few weeks later.

"What's its name?" I asked, though I already knew _that. _

"It's Deathscythe, it fits you because you're a God of Death."

I couldn't help but let out the child-like awe as I stared at the wonder before my eyes. It was so much better than the TV had shown it as. It's childish, I know, to be awed by a machine of destruction. But whenever someone sees that kind of thing in their life, you just know you've gotta try it.

"It's amazing," I said, and this thing was just for me. Wow.

-Meanwhile, elsewhere...-

"What have I told you before about the Mobile suits, Quatre? Stop dreaming! The mobile suits will never bring peace!"

"You're wrong, Father!" A quiet, but angry voice snapped. It belonged to that of a teenager with blue eyes that were filled with barely suppressed anger as he stared at his father. Why couldn't his father see what he was trying to say? Rashid and the other Maguanacs had shown him that he could use the Gundam to bring about peace for the world! He could!

The professor had also told him there were four other boys who were also like him. What were their lives like?

"Nonsense, I don't want to hear this. You are going to continue your schooling and act like a normal boy!"

"But I can't act like a normal boy when the fate of the world is at stake!" He said, "I've gotta make them see reason. They can't fight."

"That is the spirit. But you cannot use Gundams to achieve that, Quatre. What would your mother think?"

"She wouldn't think anything, seeing as I'm artificial!" Quatre screamed, before storming out the door. One of his sisters watched in concern.

"Quatre!" His father cried, but he was already gone.

"He doesn't understand. Honestly, he keeps on protecting me like this, and it won't end well. I need to fight," He mumbled to himself, "I can feel it...the heart of space, it's really, really hurting. But somehow, I can tell that there are others out there like me, who've felt hatred, pain and sorrow."

He thought he could see a lonely black-haired boy grieving over his fiancee, wondering why on earth he had to go through this torture; he could see a brown-haired boy with green eyes working hard in the circus, one who was gentle yet cruel. He could also see others in pain, even if he didn't know them.

He saw a brown-haired boy with grey eyes shooting someone down with seemingly no remorse, yet if they looked close, they could see the pain in his eyes. Then he saw the final one. A brown-haired boy with purple eyes shooting someone, doing it with a big cheery grin on his face.

"For some reason, it feels like I know these people. I know them, and yet I don't."

A name came to his mind. 'Duo.'

Duo? What kind of name was that?

"Duo, you're not alone," He muttered, "Somehow I know we'll meet."

He just knew that they were the Gundam pilots. They all thought they were alone.

'I would like to get to know all of you. You're not alone. We all aren't alone.'

"What's wrong, Heero?" Doctor J asked, studying the brown-haired teen, who had stopped typing for a moment and looked up for some reason.

"It's nothing," Heero said, "I just thought for a few moments, that someone was thinking about me."

Then came the day I unknowingly changed fate in a big way. It was also the first week I was handling the Gundam. In fact, I hadn't been out on land for so long that being on land felt weird.

"Not the same as space," I muttered, "For some reason, I really miss it now."

I didn't really miss the lack of gravity. I was just sitting on a park bench, casually trying to figure out what to do next. I had the day off. It was then that I noticed a person who was walking. A very familiar one. A blond with blue eyes who was sulking.

"Father doesn't understand me, no one does."

Uh-oh. Was that Quatre Winner? My breath caught in my throat and I suppose he must have noticed me, because he turned and saw me sitting there.

"Who are you?" He asked.

I didn't say anything. "I'm sorry, I've gotta get going. I'm late." I lied.

"Wait," He said.

But I didn't want to face Quatre. Not now. It wasn't the time.

"Why are you running away from me?" He asked. Damn, why was Quatre so fast? It was annoying. I cursed myself, knowing I couldn't hide from him. I was trying to hide from the nicest man in the world.

Damn whatever put me in this stupid body, in this stupid world! Couldn't I just have a normal life?

"What's your name?" He said, sitting beside me. I scooted away, not really interested. "Mine's Quatre."

"I'm...Duo," I said blankly. What if fate decided to curse me for this?

"How old are you? I'm thirteen."

"I'm thirteen, too," I said.

"I know you," He said suddenly, "You look like you weren't used to gravity. Are you possibly like me?"

"Huh?" That caused me to look at him for a few moments. "What do you mean?"

But his last words were unheard.

"Are you a Gund-"

"Master Quatre!"

A tall, brown-haired man appeared. He looked at me.

"Are you someone who wishes to do Master Quatre harm?" He said.

"No, definitely not. I'd best be goin' now," I said. Things had already gotten awkward enough with the way Quatre was staring at me. It kinda creeped me out.

"I know that you're just like me, Duo! See you again, up in outer space!" He said, as he walked off, leaving me with a gaping mouth.

"How the hell...did he know that? Oh, wait, Quatre can read minds...Dammit!" I cursed. So much for staying undercover.

"Old man, I ran into a weird person today," I said, folding my hands together and sulking. "Another Gundam pilot...He was a blond."

"Oh, that'd be Quatre. He's a nice boy. I think you two would get along."

'I hate that he can read my mind. It's so annoying.'

A new thought hit my mind.

'What if he was to know that I was a girl originally? That would NOT be good.'

Wait, Quatre could only read feelings. That was good.

Quatre leaned on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Duo, you're a nice person, aren't you? You're just like me...let's meet again sometime..."


	5. Chapter 5 Quarrels with Father

**A/N:Woohoo, we're one chapter away from the canon plot! Yay! Expect things to get dicey in this chapter with the risks Alison/Duo is taking. Different things will happen in this, so be prepared for some more of Quatre's POV and maybe some more of Trowa and Wufei! :D This is a fun fanfic and I love writing it. But it will be serious, and now we're gonna focus on the character everyone loves to hate, Relena. She's an important character who I'm not gonna exclude. **

**"Some things you must always be unable to bear. Some things you must never stop refusing to bear. Injustice and outrage and dishonor and shame. No matter how young you are or how old you have got. Not for kudos and not for cash: your picture in the paper nor money in the back either. Just refuse to bear them." **

* * *

**Chapter Five Time waits for no man**

Well, my life as a trained soldier was going as-well, as_ well as it could be,_ flying around through space and blowing the shit out of people, and murdering innocent human beings. Yeah, wasn't that fun stuff? Let me tell ya something, it was hard not to get depressed with my life, but I had long since buried my tears and instead traded it for something better: survival instincts.

Today, however, had not been such a fortuitous day. I had just been out running a few checks on some stations for OZ (apparently I needed to go use Deathscythe again and destroy a few harmful things that could ruin earth and space, or such was the usual bullshit that came out of the Professor's mouth. You know, there were times when I could actually say that he made sense. This world I'd landed myself in was a fucked-up, pretty bad place, and fixing it would take a hell of a lot of insane work.

But forcing five children to take on the task? Children? That was just freaking low and you can imagine how being a child soldier really affects both my sanity and my self-esteem. There were some nights where I'd think over what I'd done and wondered if I had any right to be proud over it or to feel so empty inside. Then I couldn't come up with anything at all to counteract that.

It was like my own mind was attacking me sometimes. Which brings me back to the current situation; so things were supposed to be smooth sailing. Get in, get out, report back on OZ and if necessary, kill or mow down a few soldiers. What it turned into was more than I'd even bargained for.

For starters, the soldiers in the place were real assholes. They fired at me even when I was walking out. Apparently, these guys knew I was a threat and they weren't afraid to show it. But then they had the nerve to wrestle me to the ground and decide to interrogate me. Like hell that was gonna work. You're working up against a Gundam pilot here.

* * *

So here I am, currently trapped inside a dark, lonely cell, with a guard outside the door. Of course, the door is locked. Isn't that how it always works in movies and what not? Wouldn't want to be so dumb as to leave the door open now, would you? Well, people can be idiots.

A grin crawled up my face as I sat there, my arms shackled to the wall. Nice. And apparently, screaming about your rights in this world won't get you anywhere, because _they don't exist_. The second you do something that goes against OZ or their ways, even slightly, you're a walking piece of meat disguised as a human until they find you and do the job themselves.

Like my deceased parents. I had to admit, I'm glad they were dead. It would've made the whole child soldier issue thing a thousand times harder than it already is, and for that I was glad. At least they hadn't gagged me-they wanted their prisoner to be conscious for when they interrogated him.

"...Hey, guard, how long until you let me out of here? I ain't done anything wrong now!" I said, going for the conventional approach, pleading innocence. Would it work? Probably not. Was I an idiot for trying? Maybe so. But effort was worth something, wasn't it?

The guard cleared his throat and sighed. "No, we're not letting you out. You're a suspicious individual, so until we receive more orders from Commander Une-"

My heart stopped. Commander Une? THE Commander Une, the same woman who threw a guy out of an airplane and shot him just to make sure he was dead? Oh boy...I was screwed...I don't think she would even show a young kid mercy. Definitely, I had to get out of here. I was lucky they hadn't discovered Deathscythe. Perhaps the cards have landed in my hand after all.

"...Yeah, I've heard horror stories about her. They say she's one scary but kinda cute lady," I said, shifting a little. My arms were killing me and I still couldn't move. Would it kill to have a little humanity? Nope, we're at war here, can't have that.

"...She's a good person. You, on the other hand, are not..." He said, displaying what a wide amount of intelligence he had. Oh yes, follow what the scary psychotic executioner woman tells you to do, that's_ sure_ to make you a smart mook!

"...You don't know anythin' about me, my friend," I said darkly, "...You know, I need to use the bathroom, and I definitely ain't goin' in this stall. You wanna help me out?"

With my feet, I kicked at the flash bomb I had on the ground. The second he walked in here, I was going to spray it and blind him while I broke through these shackles. I'd been fussing with them for the past few hours and I thought I'd loosened them enough. Some security they had here.

He came in, "Okay, just let me in and I'll take your shackles off for you. But you'll still be watched. Don't try anythi-"

The next instant, the flash bomb ignited, and I managed to break free with one arm, while he was blinded, I vainly struggled to get a hold of my right arm. Blood dripped down my arm, apparently, it had been injured. That wouldn't be enough to hold me down, though.

I finally managed to break through it and I was out of there at the speed of light, rocketing down the hallway, checking to make sure there were no other guards, my rifle loaded, ready to shoot anyone who came too close. After all, if they were going to do something,they would probably be hiding behind this corner, waiting to ambush me-

Dammit, this is what they wanted me to do all along. There were a group of them waiting for me and I'd fallen for it. Some Gundam boy I was! I cursed under my breath as I waited for them to just shoot me already when all of a sudden half of them were knocked out by another soldier dressed in an identical uniform. The blows weren't fatal, but definitely guaranteed that they would be unconscious for a while.

"...Who are you?" I mumbled under my breath, still pointing my gun at this person, in case they decided to pull any other tricks on me.

The other soldier appeared, and took off their helmet to reveal a head of blond hair. My breath caught in my throat. "You-"

"Hi, Duo!" Quatre chirped. "Professor G contacted me, so he told me I should keep an eye on you and prevent anything from going wrong. You know, like backup! My Gundam is out here! Don't worry, I won't let you die. Still, you did pretty well."

"If ya talk too much, they might know where we are!" I hissed, at which point he laughed.

"Ha ha, you're right! Sorry, Duo, don't wanna get distracted!" Quatre said, "Still, that flash bomb was ingenious. What made you think of it?"

I didn't answer, too busy trying to figure out a way to escape. I gritted my teeth together. Most of the ways out seemed blocked or occupied by soldiers. What was I to do? Think, Alison, think! You're the shinigami now, figure something out!

"...Where's my Gundam?" I asked.

Quatre smiled. "I saw it out there! It's cool! Let's go!"

So we both escaped and climbed into the cockpit of our Gundams.

"Boy, have I missed you, Deathscythe!" I said. I could've sworn I heard Deathscythe make some kind of noise, as though it were greeting me or something. Now I was full of it if I thought I could hear Deathscythe talk...but maybe I wasn't crazy.

"Deathscythe really trusts you a lot, Duo! At least, that's what I'm getting back from it," Quatre said as the two of us took off in our Gundams.

"That was a close one, Quatre," I said between pants. I definitely hadn't been expecting to get captured. However, we wound up in a most unexpected location-Quatre's house? Or rather, one of his houses-considering he was rolling in bucks.

"Well, this is my house, Duo," Quatre said eagerly, looking at me for a reaction.

"Wow, you're rolling in bucks!" I cried.

He blushed. "Yeah, you could say that. The only problem is my father. If he finds out you're a Gundam pilot, Duo, things could go from bad to worse-"

* * *

As soon as we stepped inside, a stern-looking man with gray hair came out, scowling at us. His eyebrow rose as he took me in. Instinctively, I did my best to not stand out.

"Who might this be, Quatre?" He asked, taking me in.

"I-I'm his friend, Duo! Pleasure to make your acquaintance!"

"Father, he's a Gundam pilot, like me! But he's a good person!"

Way to go ahead and screw up the plot, Quatre. But hey, wasn't my presence in it already screwing everything up? I resisted the urge to sigh and instead scratched my head, pretending I hadn't heard that last bit of stupidity.

"Guess the cat's out of the bag now," I said casually. What would this man think of Gundam pilots? Would he hate me for being what I am? I couldn't help being reborn as Duo. I couldn't help that.

"...Come sit down. I'd like to talk to both of you." Was all he said, not another look or response at me. Why did I get the feeling he wasn't very fond of me? It must be because of that little fact: that I piloted a robot. Of all reasons to hate someone, that's a pretty silly one.

"How long have you been doing this for?"

I was prepared. "...Most of my life. I have lived for nothing but battle." The answer came coldly out of my lips. I surprised myself. Had I changed so much?

"Duo," Quatre said, looking at me in concern. Oh why was he so naive and caring? I knew what was going to happen later on...Quatre would lose his father, and then he'd...this loving, caring boy before me was going to blow up entire colonies and nearly kill Trowa.

It was heartbreaking to think about...especially when you actually knew these people personally. What the hell was I supposed to do? This wasn't like one of those books where someone magically solves all your problems for you. Already, everything was going wildly out of control.

"...It's all right, Quatre. I know what I'm doin' might sound strange to you, but it's all for a good cause. We'll bring about peace." I said.

"You're only a boy. Boys like you shouldn't be getting your hands coated in blood. That's an adult's responsibility. War is a tool that's been used over the millennia to justify endless blood-spilling. Someone has to put an end to it..." Quatre's father said harshly, yet it seemed like he approved of me, somehow.

"...Exactly, father, which is why the Gundams are necessary to-"

"You speak out of turn, Quatre! You are still young, you should be learning things and meeting people rather than blowing up things. The same goes for you, Duo. What's your last name?"

"...Maxwell," I finished.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Maxwell? Where have I heard that name before? Ah, yes, there was a church by that name...I knew the priest well...he was a gentle and kind soul...may he rest in peace."

"Maxwell church?" Quatre asked.

"Yes, it used to be there, but it was destroyed when terrorists bombed the building and killed everyone inside. It was a true tragedy. Over 200 people died that day, most of them children." Quatre's father said softly. The way he spoke of it, it was as though he felt for it.

"...Disaster, huh?" I whispered.

"...Hm, are you perhaps a survivor of that disaster?" He said softly. "That must have been hard for a child to witness. But you must not resort to war. It won't do their souls any good."

I glared at him. Who did he think he was, telling me what to do with my life? This was now my goddamned life, dammit. I hadn't wanted to be Duo Maxwell at first, but I'd settled into this new life and I wasn't gonna give up easily. That wasn't in my nature-or Duo's, for that matter. "...So I'm supposed to sit back and let OZ invade everything and kill everyone, smiling, then? That'll do wonders, won't it? War is necessary. It's a terrible thing. But I need to do it."

"...Such wise words, coming from someone so young. Yes, indeed, you are like Quatre. But young people don't need to see such harsh things-"

"...Harsh things, they may be, but this happens out on the streets every day! I can't just ignore it!" I said sharply, keeping my voice calm in an attempt to hide my growing anger. How could one man be so ignorant?

"...Quatre, dinner will be ready soon," His sister said, poking her head in through the door. As soon as she saw me, she blushed deeply. Apparently, I was going to be quite the charmer with women. How awkward.

"Do you like her, Duo?" Quatre said. His sister's face only turned redder.

"...Hi there! What's up?" I said casually, instantly she turned even more red and ran out of the room.

"...Well, I do not know if you will be a good influence around Quatre or not, but refrain from spreading your heretic ideals to him."

"Father, Duo is my friend! Don't insult him!" Quatre cried out.

"What would your mother think if she could see you saying such words to your own father?"

That was where he crossed the line. Quatre's eyes darkened.

"Like I said before, I'm artificial. I'm nothing but a test tube baby, like all my other sisters, so in your eyes I'm nothing but a doll, is that right?" He snapped before walking out.

I looked with wide eyes at where he had left and then turned to regard his father, who looked stricken.

"...I can't say I understand what having parents feels like...because mine ran off and abandoned me and got themselves killed," I said lightly.

"Cowards like them shouldn't be having kids to begin with. Quatre has a kind heart and a big desire to help others, but I just don't know if he's facing the real world. Please, help him...I cannot reach him anymore..." He pleaded.

I stared at him with wide eyes. "...First, you should try to read up on us Gundam pilots. Not all of us are bad."

And then I wandered out. Another girl turned and caught my eye, blushing.

'This is getting _really_ old,' I thought, studying my reflection in the mirror, fingering my braid, 'Damn these bishonen looks. I wonder if Heero's doing the same thing.'

Heero Yuy looked up from his work on his computer in time to see a brunette talking on the TV. Her name was Relena, apparently. He stared at her for a few moments, wondering why he was so interested in her. "Hmph, nothing special about her." He grumbled, before returning to his work.

"Daddy, what would you say if I got a boyfriend?" Relena asked her father, who stopped.

"Well, if they decide to get my precious daughter, they're gonna have to go through _me_ first."

Relena laughed. "Father, stop!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:All right, I'm in the mood for updating this and I'm glad you guys have stuck with me through this. Honestly, I had no idea this fanfic was gonna become so well-liked, I thought it was just gonna be a random thing and nothing more, but with this idea comes a lot of interesting ideas. Gundam's such a fun series to work with, and I love Duo's randomness and how interesting he is as a character. I know you'll all enjoy the next chapter, so here's to you guys who do bother to read and enjoy OC reincarnation fics. Not all of them have to be bad, you know. Anyhow, onto the chapter. I do not hate Relena, Duo/Alison just thinks she needs to be a bit smarter. In the beginning she really wasn't that smart (I mean transporting him to OZ's hospital? Asking for trouble, but she had no idea who he was. So that can be excused.) **

"**Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die."**

― **Herbert Hoover, from **

* * *

**Chapter Six the plot begins (or how I learned to just enjoy death and roll with it, in other words, Relena's a bit of an idiot) **

No one ever said life would be easy. I can recall my past life mother saying that to me when I sat in the principal's office, crying my eyes out after my best friend had gotten into a fight with me over something stupid, and had thrown something at my face after I had cursed at them. That had ended our so-called friendship, but from a young age, I started being able to tell when people were actually being sincere about liking me or if they wanted something out of being my friend.

I wasn't sure at the time exactly why they hated me so much, but looking back on it now almost makes me laugh at how silly and naive I was back then. Back then, I had everything I needed to feel happy; a loving, devoted family, a warm bed to sleep in every night, food on the table, pets to care about, and other things going on like homework, friends, and birthday parties.

Looking back at it, I almost felt envious at my old self, because the me I was now had none of those things. My whole life now revolved around 'mission this,' 'destroy that OZ fleet', 'gather important information that', 'save outer space' and 'undercover, go and survey things.'

No longer did I have the luxury of spending time to myself, no longer was I able to play and enjoy myself like an ordinary child would. I assumed many teenagers, like Relena, were enjoying their lives in the oppression of OZ and making the most out of it, being totally unaware of the cruelty of the world that they lived in.

That was why, as I watched Quatre playing his violin, I realized that, in some ways, I was envious of him. He didn't even realize how good he had it. He was rich enough to have his own house, his own family, and siblings. Whereas...I? I had no one to count on. Everyone in this life could quickly turn from a friend to a turncoat the next. We Gundam boys only had ourselves to rely on. That new fact was only making itself all too apparent to me as I sat there, fiddling with my braid idly.

Quatre's music was...for lack of a better word, haunting and sad. He expressed all of his passion for life through his music, the way some people express their feelings about life and the way they are through their written content. I? I suppose I just...blew things up and took lives away, for the sake of a greater good I knew nothing of. Not something to be so proud of.

But it was my job now. There was no turning back. I couldn't change who I was now, there were some things I could change, but then others could not. That was just how life worked, you either take what's been given to you and make the most of it, or you languish around, wishing things were different, and throw away your entire life. That was not what I wanted to do with my life at all. I wanted to make a difference.

Quatre stopped playing for a few moments and looked over at me, probably wondering why the usually talkative and obstreperous Duo had fallen silent. Was I making a mistake by being so silent? Would he figure out I wasn't the real Duo? Had I doomed heaven, earth and space?

He tilted his head, his green eyes full of confusion as he spoke, his lilting voice giving me a bit of a headache from how innocent he was. God, it hurt to see such innocence, knowing I had once been innocent. Before it'd all been stolen away from me in a fury of bullets, blood, and guts, and constant explosions-

"Duo, what's wrong? You look like you're deep in thought about something. What's bothering you?" He asked, putting down the violin and facing me. Whoa, he was serious. Better not keep him waiting for long, Duo. You need to give him an answer and fast. After all, this guy could read people's minds. Better think of something. Think of somethinggg, anything to say.

"...I'm just wondering if there's a point...to all of this war and destruction, Quatre. Ya know. It gets awfully lonely at times. Are we really making a difference?"

He looked at me for a few moments, and then smiled, softly. "I believe we really, really are, Duo. Even if you're not aware of it yet, we're making it so no more men, women, or children have to die in horrible, painful ways. I, too, don't like this way of life. But you know something, I prefer these quiet, peaceful moments, the best. They show us to treasure how precious life is. It can be taken away so quickly."

I smiled and then plopped myself down on the couch, swinging my feet back and forth idly, wincing at the pain I felt go through my arms. Hanging from those shackles had done a number on my arms, that was for sure. But being a guy meant your muscles were more capable than those of a woman's. That was a positive. At least I couldn't menstruate anymore. I tried to picture a PMSing Duo but then stopped. The images coming to my mind were too terrifying for words.

"Yeah, I've gotta say I agree with ya there, Quat. I really do appreciate the quiet moments best, out of anything in life." I said, yawning before I plopped myself down. It was almost ten o clock, maybe time to settle down and have a brief sleep before I inevitably had to leave to go home on another mission. As much as I wanted to stay buddy buddy with Quatre in his house of paradise and breathe the false smell of peace, I had to go back home.

"Are you really that tired, Duo? And don't worry about what Father said. He doesn't mean what he says most of the time." Quatre said, though the tone sounded forced.

'Sure he doesn't. He meant every word of it.' I thought in annoyance, tossing my braid behind me as I stood up. "Well, tomorrow I've gotta get going on my next mission. Ya know how it is. Next we meet'll be out on the battlefield."

"Right," Quatre said, smiling. "...Oh, and Duo? Something else I wanted to mention to you..."

"Yeah, what is it?" I asked, turning around to face him, curious.

"...This might sound like a stupid question." Quatre said, blushing, which was a cute sight.

"...Fire away, Quat." I said sarcastically.

"What color are your eyes?"

"...Um, purple, I think." I said. Really, it was hard to tell. At times they seemed blue-violet, at other times they were more purple. Damn anime characters for having such indistinct eye colors. It really pissed me off at times. Still, you had to admit there were pluses to being a Gundam pilot. Getting to ride a robot had been one of my dreams as a girl.

"Oh, I was just curious." Quatre said. "...It's hard to tell, I think. You feel the same, don't you? I think you'll do fine, Duo. Don't worry about that problem, you'll solve it."

"Stop reading my heart!" I said, my face beet red. Having an emotion reader was quite a pain.

He blushed. "Sorry, it's just most people don't wear their heart on their sleeve as much as you can, Duo. It's interesting."

'Interesting, my ass,' I thought in frustration as I headed to my bedroom, kicking off my boots and leaving them at the side, and dropping into bed, my fingers wrapping around the pistol I kept under my pillow and on me at all times. It never hurt to be prepared and if you were caught off-guard in this life, you were as good as dead. I would make sure of that.

I closed my eyes and drifted into a lifeless slumber, full of never-ending dreams about what could never come again. Such is the life of a Gundam boy.

* * *

I could see them, the orphans I had grown up with, all playing and laughing happily. We were all happy together. But some things were only left in dreams. Then the bombs dropped, and we were screaming and crying in pain as the terrorists came in, gunning down child after child. Blood, so much blood, landed on my face and hands.

"...You can't change a single thing about this destiny. You're a mere outsider to this universe." A dead child said, smirking at me. "...What do you know about his life? You're just an imposter."

"An imposter I may be, but I can change things. I can do things for the better, I know I can. I'm not weak anymore. I won't give up." I said to the ghostly corpse, who smiled in satisfaction before disappearing.

Suddenly, I saw a reflection of myself grin at me.

"Having second thoughts about this life? I'm you, so I can help you out. Life as the God of Death ain't easy, but I can definitely give you some advice. Don't take everything too seriously. Some people are gonna vilify ya. That's what comes with the job." He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. "Besides, I'm with ya."

"I figured as much," I said, looking down at the ground, my fists tightened. "But I'm not going to give up. I'll fight as much as I've got to, and rest as much as I need to. I'm not a loser."

"You're a Quatre _Winner,_ then?" My double joked, making a horrible pun. I smacked my forehead.

"That's a terrible joke. Maybe I'll need a Heero to save me now."

"That one's just as bad," My double admitted, grinning at me. "You're doing great. Keep it up. We're all human, you know. You're no different from anyone else, aside from your knowledge of how this story could play out. But that could all change."

"I know," I said, and like that the dream ended and everything faded to black.

I bade farewell to Quatre and we went our separate ways. And then the canon plot began, and everything went out of control. No, I'm just joking with you. When you're stuck in the middle of things, nothing seems like a 'plot' anymore. You're part of the action, it's not just watching as an outsider anymore.

So anyway, I began my day as usual, destroying enemies, one after the other. It gets pretty predictable after a while, but you've gotta be able to keep your guard up. Anyhow, these guards were the pretty stupid kinds.

"...Surrender now and step out of the mobile suit or else we'll blow you up!"

Well, too bad for them. I was not relenting. I stayed inside my Gundam.

"Try and get me now, ya jerks!" I cried from inside the Gundam. My mistake.

"...We're going to blow you up, then! Damned terrorist!" They cried.

I smirked. Someone had just picked the wrong pilot to mess with. In a few seconds, the Deathscythe beam was up and ready and slashed through both of them, killing them instantly.

"I do wish I didn't have ta kill so much," I muttered. "But there was really nothing I could do about that. They stood in the way, I guess."

Had I really become so different?

Then that was when something very unexpected happened.

I ran into Heero Yuy. Well, this was interesting.

Heero was holding Relena at gunpoint. This felt familiar. What an ass. Time to bring him back down to reality. I pointed the gun at him and shot. Reality kicked in and the plot repeated itself, rinse and repeat.

"OH NO, HEEROOOO, HOW COULD HE SHOOT YOU?"

God, that voice. It was like nails on chalkboard. Was this how I had sounded as a girl? It seemed hard for me to believe.

"Look, lady, this isn't exactly the kind of place for a girl like you to be. This is between me and him." I said, but Relena couldn't let go of her Heero complex. See, I said Heero complex!

Ha ha, yeah, I'm so clever. I try to be, to lighten up the mood.

"You can't just go around hurting people!"

"Tell that to OZ," Heero grumbled from where he was trying to get back up. "And wait a second...I've met you before, haven't I?"

"And so what if you have?" I said, smirking.

"I hate you." He said.

How predictable. Still, I shot him again, just for that. _In a non-lethal area, of course._

"Stop hurting him!" Relena screeched. Had she been this annoying on the TV show or had I just been a blindly oblivious brat?

I frowned as she screamed some very unlady-like things at me before Heero tried to kill himself. And then Relena did the stupidest thing possible-turn him in to the enemy.

"Was I _this stupid_ as a girl? I don't think I was..." I remarked. Oh, well, time to save Heero's ass.


	7. Chapter 7 Meeting of the pilots

A/N:Well, my computer's busted. It's in the shop, so for now on, I'll be on this computer, updating fanfics. It sucks, but I've gotten a lot of work done, so for that, I'm thankful. Ah, so this fanfic has been idle for...seven months, for which I apologize. Been dealing with college, messy pets, lots of homework, online drama, ants in my air conditioner, ants in my windows, ants in my house, and did I mention ants? I fucking hate the little bastards. Wish they would stop coming inside and go out where they belong and stay there.

Four months of torment. May, July, August, and September were horrible. Though the end of September wasn't bad, October has been okay, until last night, when I found three of them crawling around. Sprayed all of them and picked up all the food the pet dropped. Hopefully, they're gone for good. I've got an armada of spiders in my room, though, so just try and climb in, ants, you're fair game for three spiders!

I really appreciate all you readers, you are all amazing for taking time out of your day from school, work and parenting to read and review my work! I hope you will stick around for the next few chapters. I will be editing Chapters 2 and also, probably changing the way in which the Duo OC died. A car is contrived.

Chapter Seven in which Relena is a royal idiot, get it, in which I become Heero's 'Hero' and we make a horrible comedic 'Duo.'

* * *

Relena Peacecraft was not as smart as I thought she was. That's right, she was not just stupid, she was a total dumbass.

I gaped at her, still dumbstruck.

Relena had decided to take Heero to the hospital...which was in the clutches of OZ.

How stupid could she be?

There was a fine line between stupid and then transporting an ally into the hands of the enemy.

Great, you know what this meant? This meant I was Heero's personal 'hero.'

Great, I made _another_ stupid pun.

I'm Duo freaking Maxwell now, get used to it.

I scratched my brown hair with my fingers. "_Relena's so stupid." _

I sighed, and sighed again.

I knew what I'd have to do, I'd have to rescue Heero and do stupid stuff. I was long used to this lifestyle by now.

I went to a public phone and dialed the Professor's number. Manipulative old coot or not, he was the only person I could 'talk' to, that is if you count a bunch of preaching about the importance of protecting space important. Alas, I was now a part of this universe.

Why couldn't I have been in something like Pokemon? Ash could meet me once, then I would never appear again or be significant. At times like this, I longed for the days when I hadn't been a terrorist on the run from OZ. You know, pissing off a huge, dictatorial empire wasn't the smartest idea, but that was my role now.

I listened to the ringtone until the man picked up, probably in the middle of one of his crazy experiments, he was always involved in those for some reason.

"Hello, who is this?" He said.

"Hello, professor, it's me, Duo!"

"Oh, Duo, pleasure to hear from you! How are your missions coming along?" He said cheerfully.

'As well as it can be, being a freaking child soldier and all!' I screamed in my mind.

"I ran into another Gundam pilot, Heero," I said.

He sounded surprised as he spoke again, "Ah, so you met Heero-kun."

"He wound up getting captured, so I'm gonna have to save his ass." I said.

"Oh, good, Duo. I knew you were capable of such a thing."

Damned professor, he was manipulating me again! I gritted my teeth together.

"Duo, I would like you to go-"

"Already one step ahead of ya," I said sarcastically.

"By the way, if OZ manages to catch on to you-"

"I'm sure that they won't." I said confidently, "After all, you're looking at the god of death here."

Cheesy statement, I know, but hey, when you've been in the Gundam business long enough, you start becoming as cheesy as the show itself.

Was it just me or had I even adopted Duo's weird accent? Oh, well, that's part of being Duo, you become a Do_duo! _Ugh, even worse puns than before! I wasn't just good at the puns, I was MaxWELL.

I hung up on him, confident that I could do this.

Sneaking in to bases was difficult at first. I'd gotten caught several times, but most of the time, they had waved me off as some insignificant brat, which proved to be their undoing, as I'd merely killed them quickly and ruthlessly and gotten the job done.

But then I had accomplished it rather easily as I got older.

Attacking the mooks was easier than you thought.

"Excuse me, comin' through!" I said, jumping in through the window dramatically, like I was in Mission Impossible or something.

"Get out of here, kid!" They cried.

I jumped over them and immediately snapped their necks. It was a quick, painless death.

Killing was now second nature to me. I shot any guard I found.

I felt a little bit of remorse, but hey, they were gonna die sooner or later, so I'd rather they died a quick, painless death.

I hurried on ahead.

Aha, here were the mainframe computers. I could hack into them.

"They don't know what they're dealing with."

I'd been pretty good with computers in my past life, but I hadn't been good at hacking until I'd been trained by the professor to hack into systems. Pretty scary.

Technically speaking, what I was doing now was...terrorism.

"Calm down, Duo, you're thinking too much again," I said, never a good thing.

After a while, I could see Heero in the camera feed, lying there, captured. His arms and legs were bound.

I immediately connected myself there.

I knew that he'd sensed the tv coming to life because he turned his head.

"Not you again," He muttered.

"Can you read my lips?" I said. "Hi, there, grouchy guy..."

"I don't need your help," Was all he said.

"Come on now, I can help you out, show you how to escape, just read my lips and you'll know what to do."

He looked at me through the camera screen, then he nodded his head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

As I headed toward his location, I heard voices, oh nooo, it was Relena. I could hear her voice all the way from where I was, it was t_hat_ loud.

"And my father thinks he can control me!"

"Now now, Miss Darlian, he's very protective of you."

"How is Heero?"

"We're doing the best we can for him," She said.

Oh no, that was Lady Une, wasn't it? Shit, better pick up the pace.

I undid Heero's straps. "Are you able to walk?" I asked him.

He didn't answer.

"You hate me, don't you?" I said.

"What do you think?" He grumbled.

"Ah, well, whatever, would you rather-"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence, because then someone else noticed us.

"HEEROOOO!"

Oh god, no not again!

"Shit, we've gotta get out of here!"

Heero nodded.

I threw something out the window and then jumped out, as Heero fell like an idiot.

"This is one of the stupidest things I've ever done."

"In the future, buddy, try not to blow yourself up with your Gundam." I said.

He stared at me, even as he was struggling to put on his parachute, conveniently enough. "How do you know that?"

"Duh, Gundam pilot." I said.

"That's what the Gundam pilots are like," Lady Une muttered from above us.

Damn, she was one attractive lady...but she was also deadly, considering she could throw a guy out a window, on a chair and then shoot him to make sure he was dead. Overkill much?

I really didn't want to make her my enemy.

Hell, do you think I wanted an evil-ass organization after me?

"Can you walk any further?" I asked.

Grunt.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Do you ever stop talking?" He groaned.

"What's your name?" I asked cheerily.

"Heero..." He grumbled.

"I'm Duo Maxwell, by the way!" I said.

"Fine, Maxwell, get me out of here!"

"HEEROOOO!"

"And save me from her."

"How can you deal with someone like her?" I said as I put him in a stolen truck and we took off.

"Who knows why?" He said before he lost consciousness.

Many hours later, Heero woke up-he must've been pretty injured, though.

"Ya finally woke up!" I said, "I swear ya nearly got my Gundam destroyed!"

All I got in response was a grunt.

"Is that all you're gonna say?"

"Shut up, Maxwell."

I rolled my eyes. "I saved your ass. I could at least hear a thank you."

"Thank you," He said sarcastically. "Why did you go from trying to attack me one second to helping me the next?"

"We're Gundam pilots, we've gotta stick together."

"For the first time, Maxwell, you're saying something with sense in it."

A vein throbbed on my head, but I still smiled.

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" I said curiously.

"From what I've gathered of our short time together, yes," He said.

"Ah, Hee-chan, that's mean."

"Call me that again, Maxwell, and you're dead." He grumbled.

"Fine then, Yuy." I said, and then yawned. "I'm going to bed, are you gonna go back to sleep, Heero?"

"Whenever I feel like it," He grumbled.

"We're not gonna stay here for too long-"

"I can handle myself, Maxwell."

"By the way, one of the professors sent me to rescue you."

"The Professor never told me about you or anyone else." He said.

"There are five of us. I met another one." I said to myself, "Apparently, they saw fit not to inform us."

I had to chuckle as I made my way to my room, noticing that Heero, despite his injuries, already saw fit to work at his computer.

"Maxwell, no, Duo."

I turned around to face him. "What is it?"

"With your hair like that, you look like a girl."

I chuckled. "Relax, I'm definitely a guy."

"A very effeminate one."

"Catch you later, Heero," I said as I slammed my door shut and got into my pajamas.

I pulled my t-shirt off and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

It felt so bad...not wearing a bra...not having breasts. I was used to it, though.

Was it odd...that I kinda missed being a girl?

"Is it so weird...?" I mumbled as I flopped down on my bed, "That I'm forgetting what it was like to be female."

'Of course it's natural, Duo. You've spent fifteen years in this body. Of course you would start identifying with it.'

My life was no longer fiction, it was real. Accept my role as Duo and just deal with it, no matter how much it hurt.

I frowned as I pulled the covers over me, and picked up a book about outer space that I'd gotten from the Professor. It was a boring book, but it was informative about the history of this world.

Being able to see the stars from the inside of the Professor's spaceship had been something else, but being out in outer space with the Gundam was a surreal experience and exciting.

"To think I'm in a world where all of that's possible," I said to myself, staring out my window.

If only it weren't a world full of war.

But then again, my original world had been full of war, too. But I hadn't been directly involved in it.

Once you were thrown out into the pit of war, you really saw how bad it was.

I put my book down and closed my eyes, rolling over.

"I need to leave here as soon as possible." I said.

It was a nice little place I'd found here.

I would need to blow up the place, because I'm a fugitive on the run.

I was so used to doing this because I had to.

It was so odd not having a permanent home. Some days I longed for the innocence of the past, but it was better living in the present than the past.

The next morning, I awoke early and walked out of my room in time to find Heero, fast asleep on his computer. I had to chuckle at the sight.

"Hee-chan..."

Groggily, he awoke.

"This isn't a place to sleep."

"Shut up, Maxwell."

"I could make you breakfast."

"No thanks." He said.

"Ah, you're not a morning person, Hee-chan." I taunted.

"Shut up. Why are you so cheery so early in the morning?"

"Part of being a good soldier!"

"You...never stop talking, do you?"

"Nope, never!" I said, smirking.

He just glared at me.

We ate our breakfast in silence.

"Maxwell?"

"Yes?" I said, smiling at him smugly.

He groaned. "...Thanks for saving me from that girl. She's so damned annoying."

"I know," I said, plopping a piece of toast in my mouth.

"I don't understand that girl's obsession with me," He said.

"Is she your-"

"Say any more and you're dead, Maxwell." He said threateningly, aiming a loaded gun at me.

"Hey, hey, be aware of who you're pointing it at." I said calmly.

I could tell that Heero didn't take me seriously.

A few hours later, we were prepared to leave.

I stared as curls of smoke came out from the place we'd torched.

"Smart thinking, Maxwell. Cover our tracks."

"Are you sure you should be riding so soon?" I said.

"I can handle myself." He said icily as he was in my Gundam. You know, his was on the bottom of the ocean.

"And it's not my concern if you get yourself killed," I said simply.

"Exactly, Maxwell. We Gundam pilots rely on ourselves."

"You've got a point there."

Then came the time when we met all of the Gundam pilots.

A black and grey Gundam came near us, followed by Quatre's.

"Who might you be?" Trowa Barton said to us.

Quatre had already stepped out of his Gundam suit. "I'm Quatre, a Gundam pilot."

"And you are?" He said, looking at our Gundams.

"I'm Heero Yuy," Heero said simply, "I'm also a Gundam pilot."

"And he is?" Trowa said.

Quatre was already looking with a smile on his face.

I jumped out. "Yo, I'm Duo Maxwell, the God of Death! I don't lie!"

"Right, pleasure to meet you, Duo," Trowa said, shaking my hand.

"Duo!" Quatre cried, running up to me like the precious cinnamon roll that he was.

"And what of you?" He said, turning to the last one who hadn't come out of his bot yet.

It was...Wufei, wasn't it?

"I have no interest in working with other people." Wufei said as he came out.

"You found a friend, Heero," I chirped, turning to him.

"Screw off, Maxwell."

"So we're all Gundam pilots, is that right?" Trowa said, "How come we never knew?"

"No one wanted us to," I said.

"What do you say the five of us work together?" Trowa said.

"We really have no choice," Quatre said, "And it's not like we should be enemies." He turned to Heero, who shook his head.

"I work alone."

Quatre turned to Wufei, who glanced at us coldly.

"I work alone, too," Wufei said, "And you four are Quatre, Heero, Trowa, and Duo, right?"

"That's right!" I said.

"I do not need your help," He said.

"If you want to destroy OZ, you have no choice." Trowa stated.

The look he shot us indicated that he'd rather die than work with someone else.

"You'll have to give me my space," He said simply.

"Well, then, Duo, Quatre, Heero, let's get to know each other," Trowa said politely, "How about we meet somewhere and discuss plans?"

I smiled.

Quatre did, too.

"So are you Duo's friend? Duo's amazing, isn't he?"

Heero grunted as a response.


	8. Chapter 8 Everybody Hates Heero

A/N:Time for the next part, in which OZ starts and everyone on earth is after the Gundam boys, including our hero/heroine Duo! Duo meets Hilde, and they do not get along well. What happens if a certain someone's girlfriend might be after him? Will they just be friends or lovers? Who knows! This might be a Quatre X Duo fic since the two of them are so close, after all, or Heero X Duo. Stay tuned~I've been very busy with schoolwork, but now it's time for the fanfics to be updated!

I have had numerous dreams about my muse and being him. The coolest part is I got to fly a Gundam! This is a muse/character I feel most connected to. This dork will meet Hilde soon, that should be hilarious. I think soon will be Heero's fight with Zechs and the pacifists dying.

Hopefully I can dream about it again, tonight!

* * *

Chapter Eight Revolution; countdown to rebellion for WING boys! In which I think everyone blames Heero for his mistakes, I do, too.

After the five of us had met in our Gundams and sworn to work together, we all went our separate ways, though Heero still worked with me from time to time, Quatre contacted me as much as possible, and Trowa had agreed to, as well. Wufei had been the only one who hadn't said anything to me.

Not that I was expecting anything less from him. Hey, Wufei's pretty much loner number one, followed by Heero.

When I heard about Wufei slaughtering Noin's soldiers, I couldn't help but feel a sense of disgust rise up in me, however this was war; these guys were innocent casualties and what he'd done was enough to make her hate us Gundam boys forever, but what else could we do?

I wasn't quite sure what I could do.

All I knew was that if I had to do what was necessary to protect space, the colonies, I would do it, even if it meant I would become the enemies of OZ, Treize Khushrenada-oh shit, Treize, how the hell could I have forgotten about him?

Goddammit, that guy was such a pain in the ass. He gave all those flowery speeches, but was a cruel man who waged war. Even though he intended the best for humanity, he intended to enslave half of them.

Oh, and there's Dorothy, that crazy girl who wants to see everything explode, and then there's...Hilde.

My heart froze.

Uhhhh...was I gonna fall in love with Hilde?

Technically speaking, I was a boy now physically and almost mentally, but I still thought of myself as a girl, so it was kinda weird to think of that. Uhhhhhhh...how was I supposed to deal with that?

I had no idea.

All I knew was that I had to be even more careful about my identity. We had to be on our guards more often.

That was where I decided to do something differently than canon: I decided that maybe I should get close to Relena, you know to stop her from fucking with Heero's life more than she already had.

"Duo, I really wanna see you again." Quatre said.

Goddammit, he was like my boyfriend.

"Don't ya have to talk with Trowa and stuff? I thought you were enamored with him."

"Eh? What do you mean by enamored? We're just friends! I mean, c'mon, I like you more, Duo-"

My face reddened. "Uh, Quat. I don't swing that way."

"What do you mean?"

Damn him and his innocence, he didn't even know what that meant. I frowned. "Never mind that. Is it true what Wufei did?"

"Yeah, he slaughtered a bunch of soldiers. It's sad and tragic, but it had to be done. I heard OZ wants to track us down."

"About this Treize Khushrenada dude, what do ya know on him?" I said.

Quatre paused over the other end. "Being rich pays off, you know. Well, from what I can gather on him, he's really anti-Gundam and he's kinda dangerous, I think we should show extreme caution."

"I know," I said, tightening my fists. "They think they own Earth and space. Well, we're gonna show them. I'm gonna show them..._and Heero_." I growled under my breath, punching the wall.

"Duo, are you all right?" Quatre asked.

"I'm all right. I just need to do something. I'm gonna stick close to Heero for a while."

"Eh, why Heero? Isn't it best that we stay away from each other for a while? You know, to maintain our identities?"

"I know. I'll be careful. I'm the God of Death, after all." I said.

"Duo, don't get yourself hurt or killed!" He said.

"Not planning on it!" I said as I hung up.

I frowned as I played with my braid. Heero really pissed me off with his attitude.

I'd saved his life. Okay, I'd shot at him first, but really pointing a gun at a girl was pretty low.

He always treated me with contempt.

I'd show him.

I was wearing my black hat, keeping my face a secret.

I hacked bank accounts, stole people's identities, I was used to doing such things by now. It came second nature.

"How am I supposed to do this?" I muttered, collapsing on a bench. This felt familiar.

Maybe if I just relaxed here for a while, it could be good.

I idly stretched my hands across the bench, before I knew it, I found my hand stuck in something. I turned, idly staring at what was a purse...?

It smelled of perfume and makeup. I gagged.

Geez, perfume hadn't smelled that bad to me when I was a girl.

Guess it feels different now.

"EEEK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, IDIOT? DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND SHOPLIFT! TRYING TO STEAL MY PURSE!"

The next thing I knew, the purse had been thrown straight at my head. Damn, that hurt. I immediately jumped over backwards and landed on my feet, staring at her. "What do you want? It was just a mistake, lady! I didn't mean it!"

I raised my hands in the air as she advanced on me.

"Oh really, then?" She said imperiously.

I noticed then that she had purplish-blue hair.

Oh, shit, it's Noin, my mind said.

But then I realized...it was Hilde.

Hilde Schbeiker, Duo's future girlfriend-er, my future girlfriend? What the fuck?

Damn, she was cute.

My face flushed!

'Dammit, Duo, you think of yourself as a girl still, right? That's just weird!' I thought.

"Hey, girls don't search through other's purses! Oh, wait a second..." She tilted her head, "You don't have breasts...maybe you're just really flat."

My face flushed even more. "I'm a boy, just so ya know!"

"Ah, well your braid is kinda feminine." She pouted.

"I'm. a. Boy." I repeated for emphasis, folding my arms.

"You're a weird guy," She said, "Hey, are you some kind of soldier? From how you did that backflip, that seemed very unusual."

I froze. "Yeah!"

"Do you work with OZ?"

I just stared at her like she was nuts.

I had met Hilde so early! I did not like this one bit.

"Uh, yeah, sure, let's go with that,' I thought in my mind.

"Sure!" I said.

"Have you heard of those annoying Gundams? They're causing all kinds of trouble!"

"What's a Gundam?" I said, feigning ignorance.

"You don't know what they are? Well, I know what they are, they're a bunch of idiots who've come from outer space to cause war! If I met one of those people, I would take them out!" She said, before aiming a gesture.

I flinched.

Crap, I should not let her know my identity at all costs.

"Uh, they're people just like you, ya know." I said cautiously.

"Doesn't matter, they're war criminals!"

Suddenly my phone rang again.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Duo, thank goodness I managed to call you-"

"Look, Quat, now's not the time!" I said.

"Who are you talking to?" She said suspiciously.

"Nobody!" I said, hanging up.

"I'm Hilde Schbeiker. And who are you?"

"I'm...Heero Yuy." I said. Haha, try and call me stupid now, Heero!

"I think I've heard that name before. Interesting name."

Oh crap, had he become that famous already?

"Look, I've gotta get going," I said as I hurried off.

"Wait!" She cried.

Dammit, I didn't need her on my tail anymore.

I decided to stick close to Heero, while still following my own instructions.

Thankfully, I didn't run into Hilde again. I still had nightmares about her blowing my head off and screaming about me being a terrible Gundam pilot.

I saw Heero with his Gundam. He'd stolen some parts from mine.

Nonetheless, I decided to hide myself until the proper time.

Unfortunately, the plot has a nasty way of forcing you out into it.

"Maxwell, there's a new mission," Heero said.

"What is it?" I said from in my Deathscythe.

"There's a plane coming to Earth that's full of terrorists."

Oh god. Oh god, oh god!

I needed to save them.

"They're not terrorists!" I said.

"How do you know? They're terrorists!"

"Probably a false report, they're trying to gather us up and murder us." I said.

"Come to think of it, you're right. I'll be suspicious of it. They might be bold enough to try and attack us."

Then Trowa showed up and Quatre did as well, as Wufei.

"Are those the terrorists?" Wufei said.

That was a plane of pacifists. What was I supposed to do?

"We're gonna destroy them." Heero said.

"Wait, shouldn't we talk it over first?" Quatre said.

"No negotiating with these kinds of people." Heero said.

"Wait, Heero, you don't want to do that-"

Too late. Heero fired a beam from his Gundam.

The plane exploded.

I stared at it in horror. How could he have done this?

I facepalmed.

Why, why, why, why?

First, I hadn't stopped the kids from getting killed, but now this?

I hated being so damned powerless!

"You idiot..." I muttered, feeling a few tears come down my face.

"You didn't have to kill them," Quatre moaned, I could tell he was crying.

"It was necessary," Trowa remarked, "They were the enemy."

"Attention, Gundam pilots, if you can hear this, what you just blew up contained a plane full of pacifists."

"What?" Heero remarked, staring with wide eyes.

"I told you so," I said.

"Why?" Quatre said.

"It would seem that we have become enemies of the people, in one swift move. Brilliant." Wufei said coldly.

"Watch your back, Yuy," Trowa said.

"I don't understand," I muttered, "How did we get fooled so easily?"

"Sorry, Maxwell, I should've listened to you."

"It's all right. Right now, we have OZ to deal with. They're gonna take over."

"Maxwell, it's almost like you know what's going to happen next." Heero said.

I jumped. "No, I just know-"

"I think Duo has knowledge of the future! That's what the heart of space tells me! The heart of space tells me-hey, Duo, can we talk in private?" Quatre said.

Why did he know of my past life?

I shuddered.

"Duo," He said, "The heart of space says you remember things from another life. What were you like?"

"Pretty much the same as I am now," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "That doesn't matter! What matters is now!"

"Exactly. If you get yourself hurt, I'll save you."

'Stop flirting with me,' I thought in my mind.

I smiled nonetheless.

"Really, we made a bad move there." Quatre said.

"What can we do, Quat? We're as much pawns in this as they are."

I heard of Wufei attacking Treize.

It was official, we were now fugitives to the rest of the world just because of who we were.

Great.

* * *

As I lay in my bed that night; I knew I had to return to the professor soon, just to be safe.

I continued reading the book I held in my arms, and as I did so, I recalled a quote from the real world I had once been.

"To be a leader of men, one must first turn his back on all men." I muttered, "So that's what we Gundam pilots have gotta do, huh?"

Sighing in disbelief, I put the book down, rolled over and fell asleep.

There was a girl. She was running. She had long, dark brown hair and brown eyes.

She was smiling.

"Take care at school, Alison!" They cried.

She turned her head and looked at me, smiled and ran away.

"Wait!" I cried, but she didn't stop.

Who was she?

I saw the same girl, getting run over by a car; a black car; it was like Death had swooped down and grabbed her.

Would you like to live again, a voice hissed?

I stared at my hands. They were tiny.

"Hey, Duo, you were having a bad dream!"

No way.

I turned my head, there they were, the orphanage kids.

Had it all been a dream?

"I dreamed that everyone died and there was lots of violence." I said.

"That stuff can't happen, you know," They said.

Suddenly, I noticed they seemed to be glaring at me wherever I went.

"It's all your fault, Duo, you killed all of us!" They said, their hands covered with blood.

"No, I didn't mean to!" I screamed.

"It is your fault!" Sister Helen said.

"It's all your fault, Duo!" Father Maxwell said, "A sinful boy you've become. You were a pathetic girl in your past and now a despicable terrorist in your future!"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" I screamed, wielding Deathscythe and slashing through all of them.

_"Am I to blame?" I muttered. _

_"Don't worry, buddy!" A new voice said. _

_I turned to see that my reflection was talking to me. _

_"You can handle it, you're me, Duo Maxwell, even though you're Alison! You have the power to change fate, but not all things can be changed! You already met Hilde. Perhaps you can change her opinion."_

_"I don't think that's a good idea." I said, "What if I fail?"_

_"You can change things, you know. You can do it, that's why you're here! You empathized with my struggles even when you were over there. That's why you're Duo. You're me after all, right?"_

_"Right," I said, punching my reflection in the dream as the mirror cracked. _

_"Try not to do that in the future," Mirror Duo said. _

_"Yeah," I said as blood trickled from my hand. _

_Suddenly, Deathscythe joined us. _

_"Do not doubt, master. You are the God of Death. I know that you're not from this world and that you came here to help us."_

_"You can tell that...?" I said, staring at it in surprise. _

_If a Gundam could smile, it did. _

_"You are my partner, Duo Maxwell, and I will follow you to the ends of the earth." _

"Shit, how bizarre," I muttered, scratching my head.

'You can be assured that it's not a dream,' My subconscious said.

'Are you the real Duo Maxwell?' I said.

'What are you talking about? You're Duo Maxwell, I'm your other self, your conscience. Like your female self...or the mirror of Duo.'

'Ah, that makes sense.' I thought back.

'Your past life won't go away completely, but you are forgetting, right?'

'You would've looked weird as a girl. Be careful, bad stuff is going to happen next.'

"I know full well what I can handle, thank you very much." I said sarcastically as the voice left.

I had a bit of a talk to do with the Professor, especially why I hadn't been informed about the Gundam boys.

I had to do this, for the sake of Earth, for the sake of space. Nothing else mattered.


	9. Chapter 9 Heero don't be an hero!

**A/N:Again, the villainous monster known as menstruation has reared its ugly head, attempting to control this author and make her a true bitch! But back off, foul beast, for in comes the brave mind known as imagination, who shall purge the world of sin and villainy!**

**I have no idea, my mind is going fifty thousand shades of nowhere land right now, and it's just aggravating. I had to stand in a shop full of screaming children while babies wailed; it drove me insane. We were stuck for two hours. Trying on clothes. A really, really stupid, boring activity. I know a lot of girls love it, but I hate it so muccccchhh!**

**Anyway, uh, it's time for the next part of this story. I'm glad some people enjoy reading this. It sucks that the Gundam Wing fandom is so inactive, but I love these characters and I ain't giving up on them any time soon!**

**Anyone else read the hilarious Percy Jackson titles in the books? I love them, so I might try and replicate some of the hilarious titles, just for the hell of it. I'm pretty depressed right now, so I could use some light-hearted material. **

**Duo is a fun character to write. **

**Chapter Nine Do-Duo or Do-Don't do anything at all; in which some secrets should stay hidden, Heero becomes an HEERO, Trowa-well, it was nice knowin' ya! Stay away, Quatre, and no, Zechs, we're not freakin' bad guys, for the last time! **

* * *

Nothing is worse than believing a lie. I always say that I'm never gonna lie, but then again, when your entire existence of being a child soldier revolves around making up excuses for your life, you know sooner or later, that lie will warp you and you'll be caught up inside it.

We Gundam boys can't escape our destinies. We're as tied to our Gundams as we are to space. So, you might be wondering...what happened to our parents? Sure, Quatre has his dad and all, but as for me, Trowa, Heero and Wufei, we're not exactly sure where our parents are.

I found out the hard way who my parents were.

Remember how I said my parents died?

Well, that ain't exactly the truth.

I found out in a rather unpleasant way, ya see.

I'd rather have not found out, to be honest.

Perhaps the old man had been lying to me, a little bit.

He'd been honest when he'd told me that they'd abandoned me, because they valued their experiments over me, but I honestly found it hard to believe that they could initially be dead, because if they could abandon me so skillfully, then perhaps it meant that they were still alive.

Of course, that didn't mean that I was expecting to run into them the way that I did.

It was a reunion fifteen or sixteen years in the making, hooray. I was just hanging out on Earth, since we Wing boys had to go under different identities and different places.

I always carried weapons on me. Guns, pistols, etc.

I didn't carry them openly, did you think I was stupid?

The last thing I wanted was to be seen as a Gundam pilot in public and killed. The least I could do was act as innocent as possible.

I was just walking down the street when I heard a woman scream, "Help, someone stole my purse!"

The thief ran right into me.

He stopped and stared at me.

"Get moving, you stupid brat!"

But it didn't even take two seconds before I had knocked him right out with one simple fist to his head. I picked up the purse and studied it. It looked oddly familiar to me.

As I studied it, the woman came right behind me, looking me up and down. She looked like me; she had brown hair and bluish eyes.

"Kid, just give me my purse. Have we met before?" She asked.

I opened my mouth to speak. "I don't think so."

"Oh, probably not." She said distastefully, "You just reminded me of my son."

I froze at that. "Yeah, and what is your son like?"

"I had him many years ago. He died. We had to move away from him. These things happen sometimes, for the good of space, you understand?" She said, "I have a new son and couldn't be happier. What of your parents?"

I looked at her and didn't grace her highness with an answer. "They're dead."

"So you're a poor street urchin then? Get out of my sight." She said, glaring at me, and snatching her purse from my hands. What was with the sudden mood change?

Suddenly, her husband came over. It wasn't my original father, just a new one, glaring at me.

"Get movin', you little brat."

"Sure, sure! Have a good day now!" I said sarcastically, unknowingly to them, I'd taken a bit of their stuff.

Still, I couldn't help but turn around and let my eyes follow my birth mother as she was walking. She hadn't even recognized me, she'd forgotten all about me.

Then I noticed they had another kid. I had a sibling I never even knew about.

I watched them for a few moments before I felt her sharp gaze on mine, then I turned and walked away, determined to never see them again. They'd chosen to abandon me, so that meant that I was...past that, now.

Besides, they got to live as civilians because they were cowardly enough to fake their own deaths and run away from it all. If my mother had truly loved me, she would've searched for me. But she hadn't.

She showed me their true colors, so I didn't really care much that they were still alive.

"Hey, Quat," I said to Quatre over the phone.

"What is it?" Quatre asked.

"I found my parents."

"I thought you were an orphan," Quatre said.

"Well, I found my mother, but she didn't even recognize me, she abandoned me when I was younger."

"That's awful, Duo," Quatre said.

"She's forgotten about me and started a new life, but I don't care, she's not worth my time." I said as we moved on to another topic.

I couldn't help but wish that OZ would bring her some suffering for her sins, having neglected a small child like me and abandoning me.

Another day of battle happened again. I yawned inside Deathscythe as I waited for the soldiers to begin their usual charade of attempting to slaughter their enemy.

"Die, traitor to OZ!" They cried.

"I'm sorry," I said, activating my beam weapon, "You didn't say, excuse me!" I said as I sliced through the other machine, blowing it up instantly. I did feel a pang of regret for taking another life.

But it was another meaningless battle. More casualties.

"You're all getting blessed by the God of Death!" I cheered as I slaughtered their brethren, taking no pride in the act.

I turned my machine around, only to come face to face with a new machine. Who was this?

"I've got you cornered, Gundam pilot," A new voice said.

Was that Zechs Merquise? What was he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be challenging Heero Yuy?

I guessed I had meddled with the timeline more than I thought possible.

"Ah, you're Zechs." I said.

"That's right," Zechs said, "I take it my prowess reaches even the ears of traitors from space."

Oh no, no way was I fighting Zechs. He would kick my ass.

Regardless of how talented I might be, Zechs was another level above me.

"I wasn't pursuing you. I was pursuing another Gundam, and mistook you for him. However, since you've slaughtered some of my best men, I may have to fight you to recompense for you murdering them. You're Gundam number two, correct?"

"That's right. And these things are necessary in war. I take no pleasure in the act." I said truthfully.

"You've got honor, I see. A moral compass. But that doesn't change the fact that you killed my men. What's your name?" He asked.

"You can just call me the God of Death," I said sarcastically.

"Well, then God of Death, I'd like to fight you." He said.

Suddenly, we were interrupted, as a new mobile suit came our way. It was Heero.

"Maxwell," He said.

"Heero," I said, "What are you doing here?"

"I do not turn my back on battles. Get out of here, Maxwell."

I refused, I was not going to turn tail and let Heero callously sacrifice himself.

I watched the battle unfold.

It was obvious that Heero had no idea how to fight Zechs.

"Heero, don't do it," I hissed.

Somehow, in my mind, I could picture Heero reaching for the self-destruct button.

Heero opened his cockpit and came out.

I heard Zechs gasp.

"You're just a child!" He cried, "I've been fighting a child this whole time."

"Mission complete!" Heero said, "Goodbye." Then he pressed the self-destruct button.

And fell, to the ground, limp, limp, lifeless.

My fist slammed on Deathscythe. "Dammit, Heero, why did you have to do this?"

* * *

I swore I heard Deathscythe make some sort of noise, like sorrow, perhaps mourning his fallen comrade?

"02, why would you condemn your comrade to death? That's disgraceful."

I couldn't help but feel annoyed by Zechs.

"Are you a child, also?"

"So what if I am?" I snarled.

"I do not find it honorable to fight children."

"Well, these same kids are kicking your asses!"

He chuckled, "You've got spirit, God of Death. I will enjoy this very much. What is that child's name?" He asked.

"You think I would give information to the enemy?" I said.

"You will give me his name and leave quietly and allow me to-"

"Deliver him to an OZ hospital? I don't think so. I can't let you do that." I said, advancing toward him.

"Is that a threat?" He said.

I activated my beam weapon.

"I have to fight again? I dislike fighting against young kids like you, who have no concept of war."

"I've grown up in war my whole life!" I snapped.

Damn, he was strong. My Gundam had a tough job standing up to him.

"Are you going to give up?" He asked me.

"Never!"

Suddenly, Heavyarms appeared.

"02, I'll handle him. 01 is ours. Are you all right, Maxwell?" Trowa's voice.

"I'm fine, just a bit out of sorts." I said.

"Are you sure Heero will be okay?" I asked Trowa as he had Heero in a hospital bed.

"I will do all I can for him." Trowa said. "I still can't believe he would use his self-destruct button."

"That's suicide, right?"

"Suicide is sometimes necessary, in these missions. It's just reckless that he would do it in such a disastrous situation."

"Maybe, he was so determined to win that the concept of losing just seemed like death to him." I said.

"That was very profound. You're something else, Maxwell." Trowa said, "Quatre talks a lot about you."

"Quatre?" I said.

"He talks about you a lot, you're his friend."

"And Wufei?" I asked.

"That one is hard to keep in touch with. He does things as he pleases."

"That sounds familiar," I snarked.

I heard Heero groan.

"Who saved me?" He muttered.

"I did," Trowa said.

"I'm gonna kill you, 03," I said.

"You're in no shape to do that, Heero," I added from beside him.

"Shut up, Maxwell," He said. "Why did you save me and not let me die?"

"Because we're Gundam pilots," Was our simple answer.

"You both believe that?" Heero said.

"How did you survive?" I asked.

"It's just a flesh wound." He joked.

I gaped. Heero, making jokes, it was the end of the world.

Trowa laughed.

Heero glared at me. Never underestimate his glare.

"So the God of Death is terrified of you?" Trowa said in amusement.

"No, it's not like that. It's just that Hee-chan here does stupid things," I snarked.

"No, it's because Maxwell does dumb things-" Heero flinched before he could finish his sentence.

"Well, Duo, I suppose this is where we split ways. I'll keep an eye on Yuy, and I'll let you know when he updates." Trowa said.

"Yeah, okay." I said to him.

Of course, the news spread about the defeat of the first Gundam pilot, so of course OZ was more eager to obtain our hides. So that made me even more determined to live on the streets and hide out. I would burn down my hideouts, steal what I could.

It was then that I met someone I didn't expect to; Relena, of all people.

"Hello!" She said to me, "Have you seen Heero? I figured you might know, since you shot him. You must know where he is."

"He got himself hurt in a battle, so he probably doesn't want to see anyone right now." I stated.

She looked hurt.

"I see," She said.

"Look," I said, "If you really wanna know about the Gundam pilots, you can ask one himself. We were never fully introduced. I'm Duo Maxwell. Pleasure to meet ya. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie."

"I'm Relena..."

"Relena Darlian?"

"Yeah," She said quietly.

"I heard about his assassination."

"I know you guys are dangerous."

"Lady, if I really wanted to take you out, you wouldn't be standing here."

She laughed. "You seem kinda close to Heero. Do you like him?"

"Him? No way! He complains all the time, he's rude, a jackass, he doesn't even value anything I do for him!" I said.

She laughed again. "I see. At least Heero has a capable escort who can guard him. Tell him I said hello." She said as she walked away.


	10. Chapter 10 This is the World We Are In

A/N: Hello, guys, I am well aware that I have been very inactive on this story of mine. It's been, what, six months, since I last updated this-half a year. My interest in Gundam has come and gone, however, here I am again, inspired to write because of a mere rain storm. One of those typical cyclones/super cells (those of you who live in the Midwestern US should be very familiar with those storm systems, as they produce tornadoes. Anyhow, the next chapter has been overdue for a while now. I will be attempting to stay close to canon, as much as possible.

Anyway, college starts next week, so I will be trying to hurry up updates and getting more shit out, but you should be clued in by now that most of my interest is rooted in my DC, DRRR, PH, Magi, and Harry Potter fanfics, so unfortunately, a story like this might be buried within the others for a while. I am not making any more new stories for a while until I get some older ones finished. Chapters 4-5 of this should be edited soon enough.

* * *

Mission Ten: "Come On Baby, Don't Fear Death! Escape from the Evil Clutches of OZ! Any more references and this story will _collapse_ from copyright infringement!"

Yes, I am aware that titling my diaries with such odd names will only serve to make Hee-chan very, very angry when he tries to crack them for "important details pertaining to missions". It's on purpose, otherwise my cover here would be busted and things would literally go to hell, I have lived through enough hell to only persist in tormenting Hee-chan more, rather than allow him to fully uncover my secrets.

Ya know the saying, "He who has seen a Gundam must die." The saying is certainly true when it applies to our own, individual secrets. The world doesn't give a damn about us personally, unless we're saving them-right now, we're just the bad guys and perfect place to focus their hatred on for their own screw-ups and failures.

I have intentionally written my diaries in a very confusing way, so as to disguise my memories of my other life with this one from the sharp eyes of the other pilots. Secret or not, Hee-chan does not stop if some enemy can be nearby. He suspects every one of us, as he is wise to. So I have incorporated a ton of pop culture references that only I will potentially know and understand and when Hee-chan does see it, he mistakes it for some "weird Maxwell thing" and passes it off as nothing but me being, well, me.

Quat doesn't look through diaries, but I doubt the other two would be so polite. To be honest, I haven't really interacted with Trowa or FeiFei much outside of battles. They seem like lovely and reasonable people, but it says somethin' when ya try to say hello to FeiFei and he responds by waving a gun in your face!

I'd promptly skedaddled then. FeiFei was gonna be a lone wolf if he wanted to be, then! I'd just go have fun doing my own little thing-which is, mostly, annoy the hell out of Heero, seeing as I was his constant companion, along with Trowa, that is.

Wufei had gone back off on his own again, and now it was just me and Quatre hanging out in some village with our Gundams. The weather's nice, lots of nice people around, they're quite friendly, (one of them gave me a friendly gesture, which I returned with a grin and a wave, in typical Duo fashion, which is never let them understand what you're thinking.)

That is, before Quat and I snapped his neck. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and besides, Quat believes in proper etiquette.

Quat is probably the only other remotely human pilot I can converse with-Hee-chan, Trowa and FeiFei are all not talkers, so I wind up annoying them.

"Hey, Quat," I say, playing with my braid idly, hands on my favorite pistol, tucked away in my pocket. Gundam boys never come without their toys, that's how I see it. We're maltreated outcasts-we're gonna be addicted to our devices and technology, "How goes it? Any sign of the Blue Meaners yet?"

"You say the strangest things, Duo," Quatre replied, looking through the binoculars before turning back to me, "We should be fairly safe here, with the Maguanacs keeping look-out. Don't you think you could be a little nicer to Heero? He is...trying to be friendly."

I laughed slightly. "The day Hee-chan is friendly is the day the world decides we're all instant friends with them, invites us in for a tea party and cakes, and the world becomes peaceful! It's never gonna happen-at least, not in that way." Uh, whoops, I've let something slip.

"Duo, you sometimes come across to me as a bit of a cynic. And you really have been a bit too mean towards Heero lately, let him rest." Quatre's eyes are on me and he's not kidding around, so I'd best listen.

"Okay, I will apologize to him. We need him in battle, after all. And you know Hee-chan will die of loneliness." I drawled.

Quatre was looking at me again. It's almost like he suspects something. "Duo, when I first met you, the "heart" of space was telling me something. It was responding to you-normally, I'm the only one it does that with-does that mean something about your existence here is special?" He asked.

I laughed. "What are ya talkin' about, buddy? Yer getting awfully serious here, Quat and I don't like dwelling on dark things. Let's talk about somethin' else-"

"No." He said simply, and that was the word that let me know that I, Duo Maxwell, am fucked.

Was this Wing ZERO Quatre already? Had I already brought this on?

No, what if I was a Coordinator?

'This isn't Gundam Seed, Maxwell!' I scolded myself, 'Right now, it's probably best to just do what he wants.'

"Duo, be completely honest with me. How do you know what's going to happen? Are you...are you on their side?" He asked, and to be honest, I didn't blame him for being paranoid.

I didn't entirely trust me either.

Considering all the knowledge I had of the canon universe, I might as well be someone potentially dangerous.

"Of course not. How could I ever be on their side? They're destroyin' things, and that isn't right. On this battlefield, there is no...right...or wrong. It's just us, as humans." I replied, choosing my answers carefully, tightening my fists as I thought about all the dead children in the orphanage-the first time I had ever blown up a city in order to flush out OZ, the smell of carnage. It was enough to drive one completely mad.

"Do you have second sight or something?" Quatre asked carefully.

"I wouldn't call it that, so much as just good intuition." I said, chewing my lip.

"That's not all there is to it, Duo," Quatre interrupted me, "What I mean is, the heart of space seems to consider you someone of very great interest. Could it be that you are...an alien?"

I could do nothing but stare before I silently nodded.

"Not like, the big, green kind. You're a _different_ sort of alien. But, whatever kind of alien you are, you're a good one, Duo. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. You're a good person, at first you were afraid of me because somehow, you knew about the Heart of Space and were scared. But it's all right, because you're still my friend, no matter who you are. So, let's work together and save her, save space, right?"

Holy shit...

He saw right through me. _He knew._ He knew, and that was enough to make me pray and hope that if Quatre goes evil, that he decides to spare me. I was shaking, and I didn't know why.

Quatre has the sweetest smile, but underneath it, is a mind that misses nothing. And that scared me, because he could easily be the deadliest villain if he chose to be. Yet he isn't. It just went to show me that, despite us both having extraordinary things about ourselves, we were still fighting for what was right.

Despite my being a child soldier, I was still as brave as I'd been as Alison, just a more tired, scarred and cynical person overall. This battle was about being brave-and not losing myself.

If I lost myself, there was no point in continuing to fight.

Quatre was right, we needed to continue on and continue to fight, no matter what.

"You're right, Quatre," I said, "I'm sorry if I've troubled ya. We're comrades and we'll fight to the end to achieve what needs to be done."

Quatre smiled. "I'm glad I was able to get through to you, Duo. I felt like I was going to lose you." He said with a laugh.

Just how much could Quatre read of my future, or of me entirely?

Suddenly, I felt like not wanting to know the answer to that question.

Quatre laughed. "Let's go back to official business. We need to make sure everything is fine and safe down there." He indicated the village. "So, now, official things."

"Thanks for having my back, man." I said.

* * *

Quatre's POV

When I first met Duo Maxwell, he was unlike any other kid I'd ever met. For one thing, he was the first definitive proof I had that I wasn't the only Gundam boy out there. Sure, I'd been told there were others like me, but to get to see another face to face was exhilarating. And at first, Duo was afraid of me, but he's changed so much over the years I've known him.

Duo is...remarkable. He's brave, courageous, funny, and confident in himself. Despite being through such hardship like losing his parents, he's never given up and stopped fighting, unlike me. I gave up on trying to do anything for the Earth until I learned that I wasn't a clone after all. Father and I might have our disagreements now and again, but I know he loves me.

Duo partially has inspired me to continue on and keep fighting. The other pilots, especially that one named Trowa, are equally as amazing, too. I don't know anything about their pasts, but yet we are all united in trying to fight for the future of space and the colonies. That in itself is enough to have tied all of our destinies together.

I guess we were always destined to meet.

Duo has always been a special kind of friend to me. He, too, can sense the Heart of Space, and yet he was afraid of letting anyone else in and knowing the true him. I know he's brave, he somehow cannot see that where I can.

I, on the other hand, am nothing like him. I am just a spoiled rich kid who has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. What do I know of suffering? Compared to Duo, Trowa, and the others, I'm the luckiest. Some days, I don't understand why I was chosen to be a pilot.

But, having the others by my side helps ease and silence these feelings of doubt I experience. I'm not alone anymore. That in itself is enough reassurance for me to carry on living.

That's why, as we sit here, waiting for certain death at the hands of our enemies, I can't help but feel grateful to the Maganacs for seeing past my rich boy attitude and reassuring me that I deserve to live.

"We've got trouble, Quat," Duo speaks up, looking at me in fear.

"What is it?" I ask. Surely, they can't have found us. Not here. The desert is impenetrable. No way...

"They've found us," He says, and sure enough, from our hideout, I can spot several OZ mobile suits outside, fighting with the Maganacs.

Fear settles in my throat.

'How did they find us?' I think, 'How? We need to get out of here.'

"We know you are hiding Gundam numbers 002 and 004. Hand the pilots over to us alive, and we will spare your lives." I hear them broadcast.

"Like hell we'll give in to you!" Duo snarls.

"Duo, let's get out of here! We need to take Rashid and the others with us!" I say, climbing into my mobile suit and powering it up.

"Master Quatre, you two escape! We'll hold them off here!" Rashid orders.

"But, what about you guys? I don't want to lose you guys!" I protest. No, I don't want to lose the only people who have ever cared for me.

"Master Quatre, we will never allow these people to kill you. You have a mission to achieve for outer space, to continue the colonies and save the universe. Without you pilots, the world will never be at peace." He explains. "Farewell for now, Master Quatre."

And like that, they leave and start attacking the other Mobile Suits.

"Rashid!" I cry.

"Quatre, we've got to leave, now," Duo orders. "I know it's hard, but like you said, we have to press on, no matter what it takes. For the hope of the universe."

I swallow my tears and nod. "Yes, let's get going. The others can help us."

It's hard, having to say goodbye to them all, but if our presence endangers them, we've got to leave to keep them safe.

No matter what, I will return back home, I swear.

"Quatre, you can unleash your tears," Duo says from inside his Deathscythe. "There's nothing wrong with letting your emotions out. We're still human. I'll never let OZ keep destroying us like this! I'm gonna kill every last one of those bastards!"

"Duo, revenge isn't the answer." I stifle my sobs, but it's no use. The tears are flowing anyway. The tears of outer space. "She's hurting. Outer space is hurting, Duo. She doesn't want us to fight like this. What other way is there?"

"Quatre..." Duo mutters. "I know it's difficult. But let's survive. That's all that matters now. We're Gundam boys. We fight this battle alone. That's what it means, even if we're the enemies of the entire world."

I know he's right. But for now, I'll just let my emotions flow.

Until the day when peace is established, we'll continue suffering. Earth and space, so alike yet different. Why can't they see there's no reason for all this bloodshed and death? Why?


End file.
